| Sunday, 12 August 2007 |
| inconvenient truth |
I was pondering over what was said yesterday before, during and after the Sodagreen concert and the more I pondered, the more convinced I am of my conclusion that we aren't exactly as close as people thought us to be.
We are friends, yes, but I think I have to admit that we don't really know each other very well, and even though we (or rather I) try to convince myself otherwise, the truth has actually been lying in front of me for like what, 3 years?
I'm fine with that actually. I think I've long gotten over the fact that old friends just drift apart.
But what I really can't stand is the way other people just assume we are awfully close, and just keep assuming that I know everything about you, and when I tell them that I seriously don't know what you are thinking, they express surprise, sometimes even shock.
Honestly, what's there to be surprised about? You are such a hard person to get to know, I don't even know why I bothered to even try so hard in the first place.
This is NOT a rant. I'm not angry or anything, just a bit tired and annoyed at the way common friends that we have just keep assuming that after knowing each other for such a long time, I know him very well. Well, I don't.
Even more annoying is when people start comparing me against him.
It is FREAKING irritating. I am not one who likes to be compared with other people, much less with my friends who I've seen, both in the positive and negative light.
I hate it when other people just keep going on and on about how nice, how caring, how patient you are while I'm like a total opposite - impatient, uncaring, nasty; someone who doesn't care about my friends, which just pisses me off, because if you truly know me, friends are very high up on my list of important things.
Okay, maybe I'm not so high on the material side of friendship, like remembering birthdays and buying fancy gifts, but to me that's not the essential part of friendship.
To me, what's more important in friendship is the whole being-there-for-friends-when-they-have-troubles-thing, listening to them, talking to them, understanding them; and people who have had any idea of the amount of effort I have placed into helping others in the past, would understand why I'm so pissed that people can actually claim that I don't care about my friends.
All I can say is that, before you actually do any comparison, please please please get your facts right before starting on anything. No one is perfect, and before you even attempt to compare me against him, please consider if you know him at all, if you truly know him at all.
Before you attempt to even say who's good or bad, who's right or wrong, just consider the fact the only reason why he's so perfect in all your eyes, is because you haven't seen the other darker, not-so-perfect side of him, which incidentally, is something that I've seen and have gotten quite exasperated over, loads and loads of times before.
People just have aspects that they show and they don't show to others. Its not justifiable to just scratch the surface and just come to conclusions based on that.
So to all of you who actually have an inkling of the fact that you are involved in this, please, stop comparing air with earth, because we are totally different individuals.
In the end of the day, if you still want to judge me as a bad friend compared to him (or others for that matter) then fine. I won't protest.
Just know that no matter what, I'm still proud of the way I've ended up as an individual. At least I dare to speak and face the not-so-convenient-truths and to confront them - and no one is able to take that away from me.Labels: friends, soul |
posted by voldemort33 @ 09:50  |
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