| Wednesday, 9 January 2008 |
| lets pop it out and smash it |
安全感 - 潘裕文
看着天一边开车一边打哈欠
DJ报说清晨六点想到见你就不累
喔这些年我还留着你的高跟鞋
也会嫉妒今天谁的吻有落在你的唇边
Oh亲爱的你家的路怎会越开越远
Oh天知道怎么办 我们都失去了方向感
Oh亲爱的你是否也在等着那一天
心的距离能缩短 找回遗失的安全感
忘不了曾经爱的那么狂野
不管曾经经历过多少错觉
爱情留下的余味依然那么浓烈
心的距离能缩短帮助我找回遗失的安全感
心的距离能缩短让我给你安全感
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I'm in a very bad state right now. My mouth's full of ulcers and my right eye is acting up again. Its hard to enjoy my post Bacteriology break because come Monday, studying for pathology STARTS. Yet here I am feeling like shit. All I can do is to listen to my favourite songs to keep my mind off the fact that my eye feels like its being gnawed by ants, and to resist the urge to scratch it or even rip it out of my socket and crush it into a million fragments. I'm trying not to scratch it or even put any eye drops, because I suspect I'm allergic to eye drops - my eye swelled after I placed a few drops of the concoction on it. I have no idea how I managed to fall asleep last night, when it was like swollen and threatening to pop out of my socket. Its a miracle I didn't freak out or anything. One and a half years in medical school does imbue some level of tolerance for grossness around you, even if the matter at hand happens to be your own eye.
I hope its not an infection or anything, because one and a half years in medical school have also taught me that infections to the eye can be horribly nasty. I could end up blind or even worse, have a disseminated infection that spreads to other parts of the body. The most unfortunate thing that could happen is death. But honestly, I'm more afraid of being blind than dying. Don't ask me why. I just feel that way.
Considering the state of my health, it is easy to conclude that I am not in the best of moods right now. I apologize if I have been snappish or uninterested or just sullen when I am around people. Its just that its not possible to be happy when you have been suffering from sleepless nights due to a mis-behaving eye - you wake up all tired and frustrated that you are just not getting any quality sleep. Plus my mouth's full of ulcers - which makes it difficult to even eat or talk, let alone smile and laugh.
I can't even sing along with my favourite songs now. That seriously pisses me of, because I listen to music and sing out loud when I am angry or frustrated or stress, and right now, I am just not getting any happy vibes following through my system.
Concerning other matters:
Bacteriology CA wasn't very good. I think majority of the cohort thought it was better than the virology one, but I didn't think it was much simpler or anything. I wrote rubbish and would just be happy with a pass. So stop bugging me about how easy it was already.
We had lectures after the CA, which was a real kill joy or a good distraction from it all, depending on where you stand. I think its so sad that we could just transition like that, as if the holidays didn't actually happen. But after lectures, there was a surprised outing initiated by Sara and Shihui and a few of us went to Sara's new house for an impromptu house warming. Stayed there for awhile before leaving early because it was my mom's birthday and I had dinner then.
Had a nice dinner out with the family last night, at some fancy restaurant that served delicious Cantonese cuisine. I tasted one of the best double-boiled wintermelon soups ever! I am a soup lover so I was very very happy last night. Then the whole eye swelling thing happened and made me pissed off for the rest of the night.
I was reminded of the song above when we went to Sara's house yesterday. So yeah, its been stuck in my head and that's why its there.Labels: family, health, meltdown, music, school |
posted by voldemort33 @ 23:12  |
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