I was SO pissed with the driving instructor that I got today (Ong A.S) that I went into my extremely dark place again. I started driving recklessly and I swear if the road conditions were any worse I would be dead right now. Come to think of it, I was really really reckless and uncontrollable.
All I know was that I kept telling myself to drive crazily so as to freak the man out and make him shut up. I think he sensed something was NOT right with me and got quite I dunno, apprehensive about nagging at me after a while. So in some sick way I got the better of him.
I just couldn't stand his nagging - it was like a tidal wave, it just kept coming and coming, and each time it hit the banks, it was of a higher level that the previous time. If I could I would have gone berserk and strangled him. And he had such a patronising voice - like that of Dr. Martin Lee. Come to think of it, they had some level of resemblance too. Must be a long lost brother or something.
But now that I'm back home and calmed down and all, I think it was very very dangerous of me to do that. I really could have been involved in an accident. And there were really a number of close calls today, where I swerved too hard on purpose or didn't bother to check my blind spots when there was a car coming.
I think it reflects on the fact that when I'm not in my best of moods, I can be totally reckless and mindless. I can do things that are obviously dangerous and wrong, but they won't register that way in my mind. Its like being a psychopath really. And its one of the things about myself that I'm very well aware of, and should learn to control before something bad really happens from it.
I shall not be so reckless while driving again.
I usually enjoy driving and driving lessons with some of the nicer instructors, but now I'm feeling quite miffed by the fact that this guy had to appear and change my whole impression of driving. Argh.Labels: driving, meltdown, soul |
