Today was a day where everything on the road went wrong! The number of times I felt like killing myself by driving directly into traffic, gosh, it was horrible. I am still very frustrated at my stupidity and impulsiveness.
Anyway, what happened was that I was on my way to Holland Village from school to meet up with Alex and Geraldine when I went past this traffic junction at Buona Vista, it was already Amber when I approached it so I decided to accelerate and beat the light, but unfortunately the light turned red when half my car crossed the junction. It was then that I chose to look up and saw, to my horror, a sign that said 'RED LIGHT CAMERA'. At that very moment, it felt as if someone had just told me that I was infected with melioidosis causing Burkholderia Pseudomallei. Its not the worst thing that can happen to you, but its certainly an awful feeling. So I was so furious with myself that I just had to go back to the scene of the crime to see if I had really beat the red light camera, because I did not notice a single camera or any flash then. So I did a U turn, drove all the way back to NUS, U-turned onto AYE and did the same route over again. What I noticed was that the junction that had the sign was actually BEFORE the cameras (which were located at the next junction!) - which meant that the sign serves as a warning for people wanting to beat the red light for the next junction. This meant that I did not do anything wrong and that I did not get caught by the camera and did not just incur a $300 fine and 6 demerit points. (I think and hope that I am RIGHT.)
Feeling slightly better that I may have been saved by a miracle (and solemnly swearing that I will never try to beat a red light again!) I went ahead to Holland Village. Unfortunately, parking there was horrendous - it was impossible to find any parking there at around 7. So I drove out of the public carpark and decided to go park at the carpark of Holland Village shopping centre. Unfortunately, the carpark was full and there was a queue for it, so I joined the queue, only that my car was in the yellow box of a traffic junction. After a long wait, I realised that I was never going to get a lot there any time soon, plus I was already running late for the stipulated meeting time, so I decided to go and park at the multi-story carpark opposite Holland Village. I decided to wait for the light to turn red because I needed to filter out of the yellow box, and considering the amount of traffic then, it was probably only safe to do it when the light was red. So I did that, filtered out when the light was red, and because I most certainly could not stay in the yellow box of a junction, I went straight, effectively beating a red light. It was at this moment, that I noticed for a second gut wrenching, heart breaking time, that there were CAMERAS at the junction as well.
However, I did not notice any flash or any indication that the cameras were functional. Nonetheless, for the second time in a short duration of twenty minutes, I felt like I wanted to kill myself all over again. The idea that I might have to pay a total of $600 dollars in fines and have my license REVOKEDs after just a month of earning it, felt like someone telling me that I've most likely been infected with HIV (after some needle stick injury!). Right now, I feel like I'm just waiting for the results of the Western Blot HIV confirmation test, and its a horrible torture to be stuck in this state of limbo. Boo-hoo.
It was a miracle that I was able to find the heart to meet the two of them after that. But I'm glad I did. We went to have dinner at NYDC and then desserts at the 2AM dessert bar located at some ulu corner of Holland Village - its a place that many of our other classmates have been to before, and since Geraldine surprised us all with a request to go out to have some desserts and wine, we decided to visit that place and try out the cuisine there. Of course, only Geraldine ordered dessert wine (I am a DRIVER and Alex claims he is allergic to alcohol!) but the three of us ordered desserts as well. Alex's Tiramisu was fantastic, Ger's Mudslide was weird, and my Blackberry was... abstract. Still, the desserts there were good, and if you don't mind the rather hefty price, the place is still a good place to go relax and chill with a couple of friends or so.
Very soon, we started spewing nonsense again. Talked about lots of stuff, the usual nonsensical crap, my usual nonsense (Is He? Is She? ISABELLA!), Alex's usual cryptic-ness, Ger's usual rubbish and also serious stuff, like the state of our relationships, marriage, children, etc etc. It was enjoyable, lots of laughs, because I insisted that Ger's becoming an alcoholic and was drunk, she kept insisting that she was not, but got very high; Alex acting as if he was able to judge the level of drunkness that she is in, and she insisting that Alex and I were more drunk that she was because we were both so nonsensical. I've got to admit, I was high, but not on alcohol, but rather due to the pine leaves that I was smelling, because my dish had a couple of pine leaves given to us and you were supposed to smell it to give you a different taste or something. ANYWAY, it was abstract, and although I didn't really get it, I HAD to act as though I understood it.
After that, I offered to send both of them home. What's up with me and sending people home? I remember the first lesson that Kailiang taught me after I got my license was always to learn to say NO. So far, I've never said 'no' to anyone, but then neither does Kailiang. But oh what the heck, I might have my license revoked so really, I shouldn't care about that right now. Grrrrrr.
P.S: I just read Geraldine's blog and she calls me and Alex her GIRLFRIENDS, to quote her exact words, 'they're like this bunch of great girlfriends that most girls have, that I don't.' Although I most certainly RESENT that label, it is no doubt true. I would much prefer the term 'listening ear' though. But anyway, that's what die-hard friends are for. I know they would do the same thing for me, so really, its the least we could do for her.
Its just day 1 of my first day as a full time driver and I have things to bitch about.
First things first - parking fees. I used to wonder why so many of my driver friends find parking so problematic, and why they find so many different ways to scrimp and save on parking fees. I used to wonder why, until today. PARKING FEES are equivalent to day light robbery! I spent almost 17 dollars on parking today - ATROCIOUS. Its so hard to get decent free parking these days. I am still mildly sore at losing my free, hard earned lot at Science this morning, and the high cost incurred for parking throughout the rest of the day did nothing to quell my annoyance at that.
Secondly, fuel costs. OMG, at two dollars per litre, petrol is now a literal pain in the ass. Petrol companies are now no different tobacco companies - evil blood sucking fiends who are just out to suck you dry. It hurts me to see the the fuel gauge dip by even the remotest amount each time I park at a (highly expensive) lot. Every drop, every single drop of fuel is MONEY, money burnt, never to be returned to the pocket. Whats more, it causes pollution, it harms the environment, and the smoke it produces causes us to develop cancer and turns our lungs black! If I were a Senator of the USA , I'll definitely campaign for finding alternative fuel - cheaper ones at that! THE WORLD HAS TO BE SAVED! And one day, I will save it!
On another note, I feel happy that I met up with Sebastian today and helped him with his application essay. I think we made good progress today. I hope his application goes smoothly, and that all the hard work we did today would pay off. Anyway, it was good stuff. I think I'll make a good communication director for some US politician or something - just like Kitty Walker from 'Brothers and Sisters'. Who knows? If the doctor thing doesn't work out, I could move to the US and like work as the communication director for some US Presidential candidate or something.
Alternatively, I could work for some gossip tabloid juicy magazine and aim to ruin the lives of others. That would totally work too!
People really need work to keep them alive. I have absolutely nothing to do now, and its really driving me crazy. I had the most disgusting weekend of just staying at home, sleeping and rotting my life away, doing absolutely brainless and meaningless stuff. I can almost die due to the intense boredom of it all.
My mom and my brother flew off to the USA on Saturday. I woke up at an unearthly hour of 0500 to send them to the airport. And I was so tired that I came back and promptly slept my day away. I have no idea why I was so STUPID as to throw away the opportunity to go to the US this December. On the hindsight, it was really stupid of me not to have taken up the offer, but they are going to the West again, and I don't really want to go visit California all over again. Its in the East I'm interested about right now.
The only good thing about my mom and brother being away for the next 6 weeks is that I get the car for the next 6 weeks. It sounds cool, but in actual fact, with the holidays setting in, I don't really have much of a reason to drive around. So unless I decide to head down to school every single day in December, I'll probably end up locking myself up at home and sleeping my holidays away. Which kind of sucks don't you think?
The house feels so quiet without my mom and brother around. There's my Dad but conversations with him aren't the same. And oh my god, there's housework to do. I swear I'm going to get a domestic help when I move out!
CAs ended yesterday, and right now, I'm enjoying a much deserved break from all the mugging. All I'm interested in is watching TV, playing Starcraft, surfing the net, driving and going out. Nothing else matters, at least not til the end of December where the horrible realization that bacteriology CA is going hit us when school reopens! But at this very moment, none of that matters anymore. Life is good and I'm going to enjoy my short vacation - while it lasts.
When I living a life of blatant debauchery, inspiration to blog dwindles. New entries are gonna be produced at much lower frequency! This is a show of solidarity with the American Writers: they are on strike, and I am too! Til I blog again!
EDIT @ 2234hr: I just flew solo! Woo hoo! Came back from my first ever solo drive! I feel as if I just completed my first major surgical procedure without any guidance and assistance from anyone - much like how George did his first ever solo surgery in the lift! Woo hoo!
I got hooked on this song thanks to one of my younger cousins, who kept playing it over her handphone. Its a nice song by Avril Lavigne, pretty haunting actually. Avril's actually quite a good singer; I would know since I attended her concert here in J2, which is quite surprising because many would think of her as a rather lousy singer given her image. Haha.
Been feeling quite happy over the last few days. Neuroscience CA turned out to be rather easy all thanks to our Prof, who blatantly dropped anvil sized hints in one of his lectures - and guess what? The questions that were tested were really on those topics that he hinted on. Thank god for that, because it was an 'all or none' principle kind of thing. But I'm glad it didn't end up horrible or something, because I was really worried about Neuroscience and studying it was really a chore.
Apparently, the Microbiology and Immunology CA results are both out. And according to Gerard, the results for the whole level aren't good. What can I say? Its kind of expected isn't? I haven't checked my results yet but I'm still hoping it would be a pass. I think I should give up hope on a 'good pass' though.
I've been driving non-stop for the past 3 days/nights and its been fun. My parents are really great at this trust thing, they have no problems regarding my on-the-road performance, except maybe a few minor nitpicks here and there. Though the same thing cannot be said of my brother. Picked him up from the airport yesterday, and it was a noisy ride back home, with him giving lots and lots of comments that it got my parents all riled up as well. Plus, my brother's a distraction! He keeps shifting in the front seat and making huge sweeping hand gestures, its a miracle I didn't turn off the highway or something. But I'm still having problems with parking though. Apparently, my family insists that the way the school teaches parking is wrong, and that we are supposed to park some other way. Its rubbish really. But all in all, driving has so far been fun.
I was watching 'Grey's Anatomy' last night and there was a scene where Meredith was confiding in the Chief that she feels awful that she had just brought a woman working in the hospital to see her husband, who was involved in an ambulance collision, for what would be the last meeting she would ever have with her dying husband. And the Chief said something along the lines of 'This is the job Meredith, this is the job.' which got me wondering how many more times this kind of situation would occur in my life; where I would feel guilty for not being able to fulfill my promises and obligations to people and end up seeing them die or get hurt or turn out worse than expected. Its kinda sobering that this is going to be a constant fixture in my life, and that one day I'll just lose the sour taste and dull sensation of it. I think it kinda sucks that we have to end up becoming robots to become the kind of people who can really do our jobs to the best of our abilities. I don't know, maybe clinicals does that to you. Maybe it'll be worthed it. I seriously don't know.
Update @ 2138: I just came back from my first night time drive in a long long time! It was so thrilling! Anyway, I'm feeling damn proud of myself right now, because its the first time I drove my parents about. After 20 years of driving me around the country, I've finally started to repay that debt of gratitude to them. Boy I feel grown up! =] __________________________________
Last night, I had dreams about my driving test. Very amusing dreams. I dreamt that I missed my test timing. I dreamt that I booked a test for an auto car instead. I dreamt that I didn't book a driving test date at all! Anyway, I had lots of dreams (or rather nightmares) about it and it wasn't very nice.
And this morning, when I was lying in bed and preparing to wake up, I felt like I was Cristina Yang on her wedding day. There's this scene of her lying in bed, looking at the wedding gown hanging on her closet door, completely dreading the unknown and unpredictable events that might come. I felt like that this morning, and I just lay there staring at the curtains on my window, listening to the light drizzle that was happening outside, knowing that it was, again, time to go out and face the testers. As much as I was dreading ever failing the test again, I knew that there was nothing to it, but to do it. Man, it was time.
And so I went and took the test. And woo-hoo! I passed! So now I have my license to drive. My hard earned license to drive. I'm so happy and pleased and proud of the fact that I finally got it. I started learning driving last year, when I was in the army, and finally, after almost two years, I've got the damn piece of paper that gives me the authority and right to drive on the roads. Life right now, at this very moment, is so damn good. I'm loving it.
Driving, to me, is important not as a skill or a means to get around; its more of a rite of passage to adulthood. Its the first major thing that I ever accomplished on my own, and it really makes me feel like an adult. It really is a milestone. I know its all transient and what not, and that its just a piece of paper, but that piece of paper sort of embodies everything about growing up - the responsibility it entails, the trust that society and people place in you, the way that your life (not to mention the life of others) is now in your own hands. It really is the first of many steps to being a man. And I'm glad I got through it.
To celebrate, I'm going to study cancer and neurology now before going out tonight. It's also a coincidence that today's the date of my parents' 26th wedding anniversary and so, in celebration of the double occasion, we are going out for dinner. And guess who's going to be behind the wheel tonight? =P
"It is my earnest hope that pondering upon the past may give guidance in days to come, enable a new generation to repair some of the errors of former years, and thus govern, in accordance with the needs and glory of man, the awful unfolding scene of the future." - Sir Winston Spencer Churchill
And that my friends, is an extract from the preface of the book 'The Gathering Storm' which is the first volume of a series of six books chronicling the Second World War, which incidentally, is written by the famous man himself. I find it a fitting start to this entry, a quote by my most idolised Historical figure, a great man, a great source of inspiration for this lamented soul.
Alas, with 16 demerit points and 1 immediate failure, I have not succeeded in attaining my driver's license! But today's failure would be tomorrow's success, and heed Churchill's words I shall, and I shall endeavor to learn from my unfortunate mistakes, so that when the time comes for me to meet the testers again, I shall do so with vengeance! And it shall be I! Not them! Who draws first blood in our next battle! And they shall learn to fear me! To cry out in pain and despair! So cry my lamented souls! CRY! CRY "GOD FOR HARRY! ENGLAND! AND ST. GEORGE!"
I shall not bother to recount my misadventure on the driving circuit, because it brings me great pain, and annoyance to relive it. But I am sure many of you have heard tidings of it by now, so pray, do not pity the dead! Pity the living instead! And let us forget the unfortunate event, for it does us no good to dwell on thoughts of the dead and memories of the long forsaken past! Let us instead, unite our thoughts and soul, to forge better days ahead.
I am currently in the midst of reading 'The Second World War' by Sir Winston Churchill, which is a behemoth of a book, but incidentally, something I have always wanted to read. I must also take the opportunity here to thank my dear friend Alex for his sudden new found generosity, for it is by virtue of his generous spirit (and sudden burgeoning wealth!) that I am able to receive this amazing book as a belated birthday gift.
(AND NOW, to revert out of my Dumbledore-ish/insane wizard mode back into normal mode!)
Sir Winston Churchill, is my hero.
There's no doubt about it. He has been, and will always be, the one Historical figure that I so constantly look up to. He is the embodiment of sheer grit and determination, of rousing oratory and literary skill, of utmost chivalry and courage, of boldness, daring and audacity. He was a Giant among statesmen, a legend of our time. He is the man that I've always dreamed and hoped to be, the man that represents so much, a kind of ideal, of what it is to be a Brit (what can I say? I've been an Anglophile all my bloody life!). There's something Gryffindor-ish about him, and I think, inwardly, I've always lamented the fact that I don't have that much boldness and courage in me. Sometimes I feel there's too much Ravenclaw rationality in my head; life would be so much easier if I didn't have to always think and consider this and that before doing something, compared to just identifying the problem and taking the plunge, head on.
'The Second World War' is over a thousand pages long. I'm only at page 10, but so far, it has proven to be such a fascinating read. Churchill's narrative skills and mastery of the English language is awe-inspiring. Its amazing how something like recounting History, which in the hands of a lesser writer, could have turned long and dull, have ended up becoming so rich, dramatic and exhilarating. His words are thought-provoking and image-invoking. Its such a pleasure to read it. I feel like I'm this close to the man. And feeling the weight of his wisdom and words bearing down on me.
"And so, Sally can wait She knows its too late as she's walking on by My soul slides away But don't look back in anger
Don't look back in anger I heard you say At least not today" - Don't Look Back In Anger, Oasis
I have no idea who the hell Sally is, but hey, I've got to thank her for being the inspiration to this song. There's no knowing if Oasis would ever have written this song if dear old Sally didn't exist! So kudos for her existence, because I'm absolutely gaga over this song right now. "AND SOOOOOOO SALLY CAN WAIIIITTTTT..."
And so people, its now the 9th of August, the day Singapore celebrates! I "celebrated" my National Day by sleeping and sleeping and going grocery shopping in a horribly packed AMK hub. Quite sad considering the fact that I ended up in such a state because all my previous appointments got canceled. But oh well, I had a fun time bumming around today. I think its the first time in 2 weeks where I actually had nothing on my schedule, a much needed break from a busy busy 2 weeks. It would have been better if it wasn't for the fact that today's actually the last day of my holidays. Yes folks, school starts tomorrow, though of course I'm not actually going to school tomorrow because I have driving test in the morning... but we'll see. I have to go down to do some stuff, plus I have an appointment with GAG at like 1500, tuition at like 1930, so I'm basically in for a roller coaster ride of a day. BUT! It'll be all worthed while if I manage to get my license tomorrow!
Well. Let's hope I have good news tomorrow! Better not keep Sally waiting! I'm off for dinner and the obligatory viewing of the Parade!
Update: I wanted to leave this entry as it is, but after watching the parade, I just have to say a few words...
Am I the ONLY one out there who finds this year's parade simply excruciating to watch? It was such a painful show to watch, there wasn't just one horrific segment, there were COUNTLESS horrific segments! Let's do a quick recap shall we?
1. The Spongebob Square Pants - style display by the bunch of Primary School kids in mind numbingly cute rubber costumes. It sure looked like there was a bunch of Patricks and Squidwards running about on the stage, without a single clue as to what they were supposed to do.
2. The utterly lame name that this year's NDP committee chose for the show - 'Possibicity'. As in 'Possibility' and 'City', thus a 'City of Possibilities' equals "Possibicity"! Get it? (Argh!)
3. The super extra 'central' character of the show, called 'Sing'. His lame name notwithstanding, this character has contributed almost nothing to the show at all, unless you count him being comic relief. What's up with his costume? And why the heck is he skating round and round in between segments? I mean, what's the POINT of skating round and round and waving your hands out wide? And did you hear the lines he was speaking? Is he trying to emulate Shakespeare or something, to perhaps show the world that S'poreans are capable of speaking arty farty English? Because if that was really his intent, I must say that he failed rather miserably.
4. The segment where little girls were supposed to be little "Garden Fairies", prancing around on the floating platform, while Kit Chan was singing some song about Broadway, The Thames and LA. "GARDEN FAIRIES"? Like seriously? GARDEN FAIRIES at NDP? WTF!?!
5. The segment where animal props where being carried around. The props, are like rip offs of the props found on the West-End Musical, The Lion King. And according to the commentary, the animal forms where supposed to represent the other nations of S.E.Asia... while Singapore's represented by some green laser lion. Singapore, the lion, King of the Jungle of S.E.Asia. What a nice way to co-exist in harmony with your neighbours, by sending out subtle messages of superiority!
6. The segment where hundreds of senior citizens (and non-senior citizens) were doing Tai Chi. Seriously. Tai Chi is not for events like NDP. Tai Chi is for places like Community Centres/Clubs and parks. Not some 'live' television programme that's taking up prime time slots on TV. If I wanna watch people do Tai Chi, I would have gone to Bishan Park and watch the real experts do it, and not waste 2 hours of my bloody life watching some screwed up display of Tai Chi by a bunch of amateurs. ARGH.
Thankfully, the scene where the Ministers all gamely put on the rather ridiculous Lion Shaped hat sort of made up for the horror that was this year's NDP.
I was SO pissed with the driving instructor that I got today (Ong A.S) that I went into my extremely dark place again. I started driving recklessly and I swear if the road conditions were any worse I would be dead right now. Come to think of it, I was really really reckless and uncontrollable. All I know was that I kept telling myself to drive crazily so as to freak the man out and make him shut up. I think he sensed something was NOT right with me and got quite I dunno, apprehensive about nagging at me after a while. So in some sick way I got the better of him.
I just couldn't stand his nagging - it was like a tidal wave, it just kept coming and coming, and each time it hit the banks, it was of a higher level that the previous time. If I could I would have gone berserk and strangled him. And he had such a patronising voice - like that of Dr. Martin Lee. Come to think of it, they had some level of resemblance too. Must be a long lost brother or something.
But now that I'm back home and calmed down and all, I think it was very very dangerous of me to do that. I really could have been involved in an accident. And there were really a number of close calls today, where I swerved too hard on purpose or didn't bother to check my blind spots when there was a car coming. I think it reflects on the fact that when I'm not in my best of moods, I can be totally reckless and mindless. I can do things that are obviously dangerous and wrong, but they won't register that way in my mind. Its like being a psychopath really. And its one of the things about myself that I'm very well aware of, and should learn to control before something bad really happens from it.
I shall not be so reckless while driving again. I usually enjoy driving and driving lessons with some of the nicer instructors, but now I'm feeling quite miffed by the fact that this guy had to appear and change my whole impression of driving. Argh.
Name: voldemort33
XY, 01/06/1987, s'porean typical geminian free-thinker moody & eccentric thinks far too much for his own good med student (be afraid. be very afraid!) demon45_6f@hotmail.com
crazy craves
music (jazz, rock and lounge) day-dreaming drawing & photography animals (sheep!) chocolate and tea! seafood, noodles and soup!
pet peeves
noisy crowds over-possessive, insecure, whiny people two-faced hypocrites housework and homework being called 'rich' rushing to do stuff crying, pesky kids
deepest darkest desires! (aka wishlist!)
to be a doctor (with a heart of gold!) a dog my own condo apartment a driving license and my own four wheel drive my own comic line someone to hug
