| Thursday, 28 June 2007 |
| 4I meddies outing |
On Tuesday evening (26/06/07), I went to Ang Mo Kio Hub for what was supposed to be a 4I meddies gathering.
Unfortunately due to certain reasons, only 3 of the 5 of us turned up. I have no idea if David actually invited Yih Chyn or not, and since Zejia was down with a fever, it was just him, me and Bingcheng.
We had dinner at New York New York. I had a juicy burger, which was really juicy. I had quite a messy time eating that burger which kept leaking juices all over the bloody table.
It was quite a nightmare, but in the end, I managed to consume that burger as best as I could. Apart from the fact that it was dripping juices like a leaky sponge, it actually tasted quite good!
Also had a rather nice bowl of vegetable soup, which was quite delicious actually. Tasty and healthy to boot!
After dinner, it was just more aimless wandering. There wasn't much movies to watch, and although David wanted to watch Nancy Drew, I absolutely refused to watch that film - so in the end, we didn't watch any movies. (I'm sorry David, but you can watch the movie another time. Just don't do it with me around.)
I was also struck by a sudden urge to buy a box of durian pancakes for my family, and ended up queuing for an hour just to buy a box of 5 durian pancakes. In the end, to reward myself for my amazing show of resilience and patience, I also purchased a box of 20 durian puffs.
Unfortunately, I am now suffering from a sore throat due to an over indulgence in durian puffs - I ate around 10 of the puffs for supper last night and woke up with the feeling that someone had plugged my throat with goo.
So I'm not so fond of my durian puffs anymore. Instead, I've been trying to remedy the situation by eating lots of strepsils and drinking lots of warm water. I think I need to rest before the goo accumulates and spills out of my nostrils and ear holes or something. Argh.
Once I had purchased my Durian goods, we sat down at the fountain for some good old reminiscing. Its amazing that I can still remember the exact sitting arrangement of my secondary 4 classroom.
And I can remember the names and characters of the people in it too. Unfortunately, I have lost contact with quite alot of them. I probably am aware of only approximately half of their whereabouts - the rest are really just... non-existent to me right now.
Its quite sad, but the truth is I was never that close to my secondary 3/4 classmates in Chinese High - I had a very small circle of friends in 3/4I, was friendly to the some of them, and basically didn't really bother socializing much with the rest of the class.
I think I've changed quite a lot since my days in Chinese High. David and Bingcheng were both saying that I've changed, but exactly how I had changed, is still a sort of mystery to me.
Bingcheng was telling me that I was 'very anti-establishment' during my days in Chinese High, and used to frighten people off because I was 'always sulking and in a sullen mood' whereas David said I 'didn't like to talk much' and was 'just very different'. I guess they were right.
I remember being a very very angry kid in Secondary school. I was definitely very anti-establishment, I despised the majority and would usually choose to do things my own way, and would select a path that would obviously deviate very greatly from the general consensus.
I definitely didn't bother to socialize. If I met a group of strangers, I wouldn't bother to be the first one to offer a handshake or make an effort to get to know you - I was more of like the guy who would just not care: if you wanted to talk to me, I would most certainly talk to you, but if you didn't want to, I wouldn't care either.
(I know, I know, very AP right? But what to do? I was that kind of person then.)
And with regards to teachers, I remember being the kind of student who would respect the teachers I felt were competent, but would utterly loathe those that I felt were incorrigible, so much so that I wouldn't care if my grades for that respective subject would suffer as - as long as I hated that teacher, I would develop an intense dislike for that subject as well.
That was the reason why I was failing my A-maths in Secondary 3, because I felt the teacher who was teaching us was a fraud, so I refused to do well and put in effort for mathematics. And when our maths teacher was changed in Secondary 4, my grades for mathematics saw a definite improvement, only because I respected the new teacher and his teaching style.
And my intense dislike for physics could be attributed to the fact that I felt that my physics teacher in secondary 3 and 4 was an absolute joke. He was basically a male Trelawney, and he looked the part to boot, with his over-sized spectacles that made him look like a dragonfly or something, plus his tendency to speak in overenthusiastic/overmystical gestures about things like waves and forces and light rays.
I was so turned off by his nonsensical teaching style that I became rather turned off with the subject he was attempting to teach as well, and thus, this officially led to the demise of what little interest I had in physics.
So yeah. I think I have long moved on from those angry, angsty days. I still think some things won't change, such as the fact that I'm pretty anti-establishment, and also the fact that I tend to choose to path I want to choose, even if its not exactly the path most traveled.
But I think I've definitely mellowed over the years, I'm less reckless in that area these days - I'll actually stop to think about the consequences before doing anything too drastic. I think I've definitely lost my edge now.
And I won't be non-conformist just for the sake of being non-conformist, which is something I definitely would do sometimes when I was in Secondary school.
I am still proud of the fact that I have non-conformist tendencies, or even a social conscience that's more skewed towards causes that aren't necessarily supported by the majority.
But of course, I'm also a bit conservative as well, so I guess I'm more of a conservative liberal or liberal conservative (whichever term you prefer to use.)
And in terms of socializing, okay, I think JC changed that considerably. I think I'm definitely more open to making friends and socializing these days, at least I know I'm no longer that kind of person who chooses to be a hermit. I definitely talk alot now, in fact I think sometimes talk too much.
But I guess there's still a limit as to the amount of friends I choose to make - and when I meet people that are just acquaintances, I tend to revert back to my old character of avoiding them, or ignoring them even, because I seriously don't know how to relate to them - a kind of shock or even fear courses through me every time I meet someone that I recognise but isn't close to.
I'll be gripped with a sudden urge to hide or disappear as fast as I can. Don't ask me why, I'm just like that. Its just a innate part of my character to not want to have to socialize with people that I am not close to.
Maybe I fear the perceived awkwardness of the situation. Yes that has to be it. I am very very fearful of awkward situations. Especially awkward silences - they KILL ME.
I think one thing comes clear from such reminiscing sessions of old classmates - its a pity that I wasn't more into keeping contact with old friends.
Just that well, the people I was really close to were the CO kids, and not 4I. My loyalty was to my CCA and not my class then.
But things change when people grow older and develop as individuals. I don't really know whether I've changed alot or changed very little - I guess that's up to the people who have known me since Secondary School.
But one thing is for certain; whether we change for the better or the worse, its best not to overindulge in what is nothing more than memories of the past. Let us instead, work on paving the way to a better future.Labels: flashback, food, soul |
posted by voldemort33 @ 22:45  |
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