| Friday, 22 February 2008 |
| well, its goodbye green meadows |
Well, tonight's the last night that I will be spending in the place that I had so fondly called home for the past 20 years. I've lived here all my life and now, its time to say goodbye.
My family was having a farewell gathering for the house on Sunday, with my whole extended family and all. One of my uncles asked if I felt sad with regards to the moving. I was struck dumb by that question, and told him, 'Not really.', to which my uncle exclaimed 'But you grew up here! You should have some emotional attachment to the place!' I decided to go for the smile politely and slowly back away tactic to avoid anymore questions.
If anything, that conversation got me thinking about why I don't have any emotions with regards to leaving this place. I mean, my uncle was right. I practically grew up in this house. For the past 20 years, it had seen me grow from a baby that won't shut up to a young man who knows the importance of shutting up. All my developmental milestones: my first step, my first word, chickenpox, puberty, losing consciousness - all were experienced right here. By convention, I should be sad that I'm leaving. But I'm not.
I don't think I am a very sentimental person. Or rather, I don't show my sentiment easily. When crunch time comes, I suppress or rationalize all feelings of emotion and sentiment. Deep down inside, I am sure that I probably do feel some nuance of sadness, of regret that we have to leave, but then these feelings are just not surfacing. I think I've grown up to face any feelings of sadness in the same fashion as how I deal with all trials and tribulations, that is just stand up, face it, and move on. Clear cut, no emotional drag and sentimental messiness.
Does that make me a cruel, callous, unfeeling person? I don't know. Some part of me regrets that I've grown into someone who just doesn't see the point in being sentimental over such things. But then, it just doesn't make sense to be sad over something that's just a phase in life. You think of it, you cherish it, you remember it - yes that's my definition of sentimental, but don't keep wishing it would come back and moping over the fact that is gone. That's just a whole new level of pathetic behavior. Move on, but don't forget and everything still lives on in your OWN heart.
Whatever way our stories end, some things can never be changed.
So its goodbye Green Meadows. I'll miss the whole thing about the big sheep living in the green meadows. It was funny while it lasted. =)Labels: life, randomness, soul |
posted by voldemort33 @ 22:57  |
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