I'm sitting in front of my laptop, eating left-over noodles from my Grandpa's birthday dinner last night. The noodles were delicious then, which is a far cry from the muck I'm eating right now... soggy, messy noodles. Sigh. Dinner was somewhat excruciating, because I ended up sitting next to my Grandpa, at a table where the average age of everyone seated there was 52. A whole night of forced smiling and keeping my mouth shut. To make matters worse, there was definite tension in the air because my dad and uncle from Australia were sitting at the same table. The last time they were at dinner together, they ended up quarreling and falling out. At least they didn't go down that road this time round, but still, they aren't speaking to each other, which is a pity because they used to get along so well. But oh well, when it comes to adults, there's lots of pride at stake, and very often no one wants to take the first step to reconciliation. And as we age and grow older, I think we find that really occurring in our daily lives too. At least that's over and done with. I don't have to be in such a situation until next year! WOO HOO!
Anyway, I came upon this song from the 881 soundtrack. And no... unlike the millions of Singaporeans who have seen the movie and gone gaga over it, I HAVE NOT seen the movie, and I don't intend to. I'm sure its nice and all, because I've seen some of Royston Tan's short films and I do think that he really is a talented director, but I'm just not into watching 881, for reasons that even I do not know of. However, I've heard some of the songs from the soundtrack, and I've got to say they are really nice. Very simple, moving songs. I love the title track 'One Half 一人一半' best... but there are many many versions of it - 伍家辉's solo version, a duet version (which he sang with YANZI! once), and another female version that I heard once on 93.3 FM.
Jiahui's version. The original I think...
The duet version, with another girl.
The duet between Jiahui and Yanzi. I love the fact that its unplugged! I think this is the best version I've heard so far (but that's because there's Stefanie in it!)
My mom is a BIG fan of 881. She keeps telling me about the jokes in Hokkien, but of course, I did't really appreciate them because 我的 Hokkien 没有很好. I think I shall buy her the OST because she loves the songs. Which should be a good surprise gift because I haven't given her a surprise gift in ages. I hope it doesn't cost much - at any rate, it should cost less than my Grey's Anatomy soundtracks so yeah, I shouldn't complain.
I like the lyrics though. Sometime along the rough lines of: you get one half, I get the other, and our friendship will not splinter; we each get equal quarters, and our friendship will last. Okay, bad translation, I apologize but my Hokkien really isn't that good! But yeah, the lyrics are very very good. Meaningful really. Any relationship you build with someone - family, friend, lover - depends on equal contribution from both parties. You share your troubles, your worries, your joy, your success with each other. No other way. *nods*
I dunno what to say. Listening to this song always erm... makes me sad.
Mistakes. That's what they all were. Making mistakes, isn't that how we all learn? How we all learn to pick ourselves up? How we all learn to grow up? How we all learn to handle ourselves, and others better? But why do I feel as if I can never ever learn from them? Especially those made in forging/maintaining/keeping a relationship?
I sometimes wonder if everything that happened, was entirely my fault. If I didn't make those decisions, things would probably be in less complicated state today. But then, we all know it takes 2 hands to clap. So if the other refuses to co-operate, nothing will ever come out of it. We'll be better off doing stuff on our own.
Is it wrong to cover up a relationship that wasn't even stable? Is it wrong to hide something that isn't even there? I dunno. But girls can be so... fickle and complicated. You give in to their every wimp and fancy, and they get tired and sick of you. You stand your ground and they accuse you of being chauvinistic and insensitive. All I can say is, I've tried my best, but its obvious that my best isn't enough to meet your demands. And maybe its better if nothing even happened and we just revert to what we were from the very start. (anyway, I'm good at the 'reverting to just being friends thing' considering that I've been doing that for almost 3 years now.)
Maybe I'm just not cut out to be in a relationship at all. I just can't stand it when things turn into the constant need to assure someone and give in to someone. Insecurity in people just... irks me and the problem with so many girls these days is that they always give in to their insecurities. I need someone who is strong, confident and independent, who doesn't need constant saving. But also someone who is kind, gentle, and respectful of my views and opinions. Someone... like oh Addison or Meredith! And I guess, I just haven't found or met someone like that yet.
I like this particular stanza. I'm a flawed, flawed person. I know that. I know that I'm always preoccupied with other stuff, stuff like work, stuff like friends, stuff like family, stuff like living my own life, doing my own things. But honestly, haven't you been busy with your life as well? Was it wrong to give you your own space? You didn't want to rush into things, neither did I. And when I decided to slow down, you start accusing people of not being there, not being interested anymore. Seriously. What can I say? See, this is the sort of thing that I find so troublesome about girls and relationships. You want something, but you also want the exact opposite. The thing is, it infuriates guys.
I honestly don't think I'm suited for the whole marriage, settling down thing. I find it so bordersome. Aren't I a jerk for thinking that way? Its just weird. I can be responsible for the lives and problems of others, but when it comes to my own life, I just don't see the need to make it right. Where's the responsibility in it?
You don't read this anyway, so really, I don't think there's much point in writing anymore stuff. Sigh. We'll see how it goes. I've got more pressing issues ahead anyway.
"Let's wake up in the mornings / Let's go to bed at night Let's make hay in the big sunshine / Yea we'll make hay in the light Let's bury all our hatchets / Let us get along Let's hold hands and save the world! / Let's not..." - 'GugiGugi 咕叽咕叽，孙燕姿'
Oooooo, damian is a happy boy today, because he has finally gotten his hands on his most favouritest idol's latest album! And he is happy, because he has been waiting for it since the beginning of this year! Hohohohohohoho!
After listening to the album continuously for around 5 hours, damian concludes that his favouritest tracks from the latest album include '逆光 Against the Light' , '梦游 Sleep Walk', '咕叽咕叽 GugiGugi' , '我怀念的 Unforgettable', '飘著 Float' and '需要你 I Need You'. That is not to say that damian dislikes the other tracks... because from experience, damian knows that many of yanzi's songs are an acquired taste - they tend to grow on you only after repeated listenings.
'我怀念的 Unforgettable' in particular is damian's absolute recommendation, because damian was shocked to find tears welling in his eyes after listening to it; he thinks its an amazingly touching song, very heart-wrenching, with a melodious tune and meaningful lyrics. One day damian might even place the song right here! But not today, because damian is still busy listening to the album for the 16th time.
Considering the fact that damian has all of yanzi's albums (except one), damian feels that he grew up listening to her music. He remembers his first time listening to her sing in secondary one, and remembers how he became hooked and became her loyal fan(atic). He is happy to add yanzi's tenth album to his growing collection of yanzi-related merchandise! And feels that this new album is quite good and worth his 19 bucks, but then damian is biased and his views may be horribly skewed in yanzi's favour, so its better you make you own decisions and develop your own opinions. Muahahaha.
Oh, and don't cha think that the lyrics up there are so amusing? Because damian adores the whole stanza there. He thinks its very very neurotic. And he likes neurotic stuff because... he tends to be quite neurotic at times. Hehe.
Damian now feels inspired to keep surviving through the rest of the study break! Weeeee~!
Anyway, I had really bad night last night. Couldn't sleep AT ALL, or rather, kept drifting in and out of sleep. It was very sickening, and everytime I gave up trying to sleep, and started to read my book of the moment (Nick Hornby's The Complete Polysyllabic Spree) my eyelids start closing again and I just have to give up and try to go back to sleep. And then when I start lying on my bed, I don't tired anymore and instead, feel wide awake. Argh. Extremely sickening.
Plus I had a really WEIRD dream. Think it involved Eugene Chan and Woon Keat calling me and telling me that I was supposed to meet them for dinner tomorrow because it was an anniversary. And I was like 'what anniversary?' and I think it was Woon Keat who said 'anniversary of the day the music died'. And I went 'wait... isn't that a line from the song 'American Pie'?' And they ignored me and kept going on about how we had to meet at 11pm for dinner and that everyone else was going. But then I felt that they couldn't have arranged to meet at 11pm on a weeknight, because, HEY LET'S FACE IT, all of them, with the exception of 2 of us, are STILL STUCK IN NS! So I went 'Erm, 11pm? On a tuesday night? Are you guys missing something? Don't you guys have things like booking in or guard duty and stuff?' And then there was silence... and Eugene said 'Oh. Yah hor.' And then the phone went *click* and the stupid dream was over.
Strange that I was having difficulty sleeping, because just a few hours ago, my anat group mates were telling me stories of how they couldn't sleep last night due to news that the results for our Anatomy CA was going to be released. My mind must have subconsciously programmed itself to NOT be able to sleep after taking all that in. Arh, the power of the brain. The brain is really such a mysterious thing... who knows what it could have done or could do? Hmmmmm.
ANYWAY. As you guys would have probably found out if you saw the photos I posted up, my anat groupmates did come to my house yesterday to just, I dunno hang out. They played Huipei's X-men board game, card games like Daidee and Indian Poker and also watched abit of my ROTK: EE. After that we went to eat @ J8. Lots of interesting stuff took place, but I think the girls Huipei and Peishan have more detailed and complete blog entries about the day, so if you wanna find out, head on down there to read about it. =p
Speaking of my house... Oh gosh, house-hunting is a ridiculously difficult thing to do. Its so damn sickening lah. I think we are never ever gonna find a house to live in. Not that I mind living on the streets for a while, but where am I going to put my books? My med school textbooks are enough to kill already, let alone all my story books and novels. Can you imagine having to drag the books along everytime we marauder from one place to another. But anyway, my mom's first choice was this terrace estate in the Yio Chu Kang area, and the houses looked pretty good! With attics and roof top gardens and stuff! But when we went to the open house on Sunday, they told us the whole damn estate was sold out, and that there isn't going to be any phases anymore. We were like, damn miffed by it. The stupid agents wouldn't even let us view the showflat somemore. So now its back to the drawing board, searching and finding and stuff. Its gonna be some time before we find another house that we are actually very keen on buying.
Today's day 2 of my study break, and guess what? I just started completed my schedule for my revision. I thought I had like loads of time for revision, but oh well, could barely squeeze in everything into the month or so available. But I think its still a rather lax schedule, considering the fact that my first week is really damn slack. With stuff like cytology and membranes and buffers on the list. I think it was on purpose, cause I don't really think I'm ready to mug full time yet. Haha. Who knows huh? As things progress, I might pick up the pace and try to bring my schedule forwards by a day or two.
Bought my notebooks for revision, and got my pre-order receipt for Yanzi's album due either tomorrow or thursday. Can't wait! (for the album, not the start of revision.)
Thats about all that I wanted to talk about really. Sigh. My schedule officially says that revision starts tomorrow. I feel like changing it such that I start on Saturday.... Hmmmmm.
Name: voldemort33
XY, 01/06/1987, s'porean typical geminian free-thinker moody & eccentric thinks far too much for his own good med student (be afraid. be very afraid!) demon45_6f@hotmail.com
crazy craves
music (jazz, rock and lounge) day-dreaming drawing & photography animals (sheep!) chocolate and tea! seafood, noodles and soup!
pet peeves
noisy crowds over-possessive, insecure, whiny people two-faced hypocrites housework and homework being called 'rich' rushing to do stuff crying, pesky kids
deepest darkest desires! (aka wishlist!)
to be a doctor (with a heart of gold!) a dog my own condo apartment a driving license and my own four wheel drive my own comic line someone to hug
