Harry Potter And The Order of the Phoenix trailers
Oh shit, there's another one that's slightly different!
This one has much more scenes of action! Lots of Dumbledore's Army shots! And oh lots of action shots in the Ministry, including scenes of the climatic duel that we know is going to happen at the end. Oh and shots of the Order at work as well! And Occlumency lessons with Snape! Woohoo!
"Every great wizard in history has started out as nothing more than what we are now, if they can do it, why not us?" Why not us indeed? ___________________________________________________
WOO HOO! The new international official trailer! Stuff that I picked out from the trailer: Dolores Umbridge is really very very bitchy. Voldemort looks weird in a suit and tie (stick to the large black flowing cloak voldie!). Azkaban has a damn weird architectural design. Luna's Patronus is in a shape of a horse (or unicorn?)! The centaur herd looks amazingly evil (so do the dementors, but we got to know them in movie 3 already.) Sirius reminds me of Dorian Gray. The Ministry of Magic looks much much darker than I actually imagined it to be. Dumbledore was doing some sort of taichi move... something quite reminiscent of what Yoda did. Oh and its gonna be a climatic battle at the Ministry, and I can't wait. Hurhurhur.
"Its kind of exciting isn't it? Breaking the rules." "who are you and what have you done with Hermione Granger!" *Snicker*
From S3E10 - Don't Stand So Close To Me: MEREDITH: -slams her locker door- "I can't take this anymore!" IZZIE: "What?" MEREDITH: "Let her off the hook. Let Cristina off the freaking hook." CRISTINA: "Meredith!" MEREDITH: "Izzie, you cut the LVAD wire and she stuck by you and did Denny's ECHO. Alex, you cheated on Izzie with syph nurse and she helped you study for your boards. And George, when everybody was calling you 007-" GEORGE: "She was calling me 007." -stomps out of the room- MEREDITH: "Just let her off the hook." ALEX: "It's okay." IZZIE: "Sorry." -After Izzie and Alex leaves- CRISTINA: "Why can't you just mind your own business? What is your problem?" MEREDITH: "You're my sister. You're my family. You're all I've got." CRISTINA: "... I'm so tired." MEREDITH: "I know. Me too." ________________________________________________
From S3E17 - Some Kind Of Miracle: CRISTINA: "Did you say something? Did you just speak?" MEREDITH: "Oo..uu.." CRISTINA: "Oh Meredith. OK, Mer, I don't understand you OK, so try again, try again, try again for me OK?" MEREDITH: *mumbles something incoherent* CRISTINA: "What? I can't... please, please don't be... YOUR BRAIN WORKS OK. So all you NEED to do is to form a word. Please." -After a long pause- MEREDITH: "....Ouch..." CRISTINA: "... OH GOD! Oh! HI! I'm getting married to Burke! NOT that that should be anywhere on your list of thoughts right now, but just in case you slip in the hall later on... You are the ONE person I wanted to tell... Thank you, for not dying." ________________________________________________
One of my favourite things about Grey's Anatomy, is the whole theme about friendship, especially that between Meredith and Cristina. (George and Izzie used to be another friendship that I loved too, but after they started the whole adultery between best friends thing, I got rather pissed with them.) These two women are so unbelievably different, but they way they clicked was so great that they really become perfect friends for each other. I love the way their friendship is so unconventional, and its not the kind where its all about the talk about being best friends. Their friendship is really based on action. They do things that show that they are best friends, they stick up for each other in ways, though unconventional, that really show the strength of their friendship.
I was rewatching the whole Ferry Disaster 3-episode arc thing today, and the scenes of Cristina and Meredith are some of the best scenes in Grey's ever. Tears were even welling in my eyes when the scene of Cristina first finding out that Meredith was dying was being played. Can you believe it? I almost cried. Almost. And I don't usually do emotions when I watch shows. And when Cristina demanded that the doctors try to save Mer one more time. Wow. The way she shouted, was just... phenomenal. Amazing.
Oh and I changed my skin. The old one was just getting on my nerves, and so, I changed it.
WHERE are we going? - Edward Monkton 'Where are we going?' 'I don't know. I thought you knew.' 'No, I don't know. Maybe he knows.' 'No. He definitely doesn't know.' PAUSE 'Maybe no-one knows.' PAUSE 'Oh well. I hope it's nice when we get there.'
I needed that to remind me why I'm still here. Hope it brings some amount of comfort to anyone out there, who is currently feeling some level of self-doubt and fear too. We'll be fine.
Visit edwardmonkton.com if you're looking for more bits of inspiration.
I have been typing and re-typing this entry for the past 15 minutes or so. But I just can't seem to type out anything that makes sense, or rather anything that I want to say. And in the end, its one of those things that's part of a writer's intuition: that if something is giving you that much trouble in execution, it probably means that what you should just get rid of it. So I'm just going to trim the fat here, and just give you the essence so to speak.
Please just shut the f*ck up. I want to just live through a day where I don't have to deal with helping anyone, or anything, make a decision; where I don't have to help anyone, or anything bear any responsibilities; where I can just lay down on my bed and not have that voice going in your head 'you need to do this and that.... for her/him/them'. I shouldn't be helping you live your stupid freaking freak show of a life.
All I want is a day where I don't have listen to people yapping away about their problems. Not when I am trying to solve mine. Is that too hard to ask?
To all those who tagged: thanks. And sorry I can't type anything more erm... thoughtful or whatever to express my gratitude. I am not in the mood right now. And I'm seriously sorry you have to deal with such a grumpy prick like me. Humble apologies.
I feel like ripping my soul out of my body, put it in a box and crush it. Is it a metaphor for committing suicide? I dunno.
The past few days have been some of the most tiring days ever in my life. I can't really recall much of the things I have done over the past few days, except it has been a blur. A really big blur. I remember outings, lots of them, and I remember feeling very stoned in many of them. It feels as if I have lost my zeal for life again. I cannot find the energy or mood or even motive to do things, to be happy, to live life. I do not know if its really a side-effect (like what peishan said) of falling out of love or anything, but there is no denying that I find it pointless to do anything or say anything.
It seems I have once again entered my anti-humanity mood. I am so so sick of seeing people - people I know, people I don't know, people I love, people I hate. Whatever. Sometimes I wish I didn't have a soul(or a heart) to begin with, so that I wouldn't have to bother about people and concepts like 'love', 'friendship, 'family'. So that I could just offend anyone I like, so that I could hurt anyone I hate, so that I can tell them what I really think they should know, instead of being caught up in their stupid, silly, personal worlds, worrying about their stupid, silly problems... that aren't really even problems to begin with.
Sometimes, I really want to stop listening and just tell the world to shut the f*ck up; I really want to tell them that seriously, I don't care a damn thing about what you have to say or what you feel or what you want to do: you want to go ruin your own life? Go ahead. You want to ruin other people's life? Fine with me. I don't give a damn. I want to rip off the masks on so many people, and hopefully, in the process, rip some bits of their skin and flesh out as well. I want to tell them what I really think about them: that they are so so fake and hypocritical; so so selfish and self-absorbed; so so paranoid and impractical; so so childish and irritating. I want to see them bleed. I want to see them suffer. I want to see them in pain and hopefully dying from it. I want to see the people I call my oldest friends die. I really want to see them die. And I want to be laughing when that happens.
I want to be free from allegiances. I want to be free from bonds. I want to be devoid of emotion. I want to be without a conscience. I want to have a heart of steel. I want to have a brain of a killer. I want to tear my soul into pieces, place them in little boxes tied with oversized ribbons and drive a car over them. And hear their little voices scream.
I want to be more than a psychopath. What I want is the power to become a monster and come back again.
I am aware that this entry is rather alarming. But please, do not be alarmed. I am usually quite a sociable, people person who doesn't have murderous thoughts. You just caught me while I'm in my dark place. *smiles*
The Story - Brandi Carlile All of these lines across my face Tell you the story of who I am So many stories of where I've been And how I got to where I am But these stories don't mean anything When you've got no one to tell them to It's true...I was made for you
I climbed across the mountain tops Swam all across the ocean blue I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules But baby I broke them all for you Because even when I was flat broke You made me feel like a million bucks Yeah you do and I was made for you
You see the smile that's on my mouth Is hiding the words that don't come out And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed They don't know my head is a mess No, they don't know who I really am And they don't know what I've been through but you do And I was made for you... _____________________________________________________________________
More "Grey's Anatomy" goodness. Warning though: music video contains lots of spoilers from season 3. Don't watch it if you haven't been catching up on Grey's and you don't want to be spoilt.
I dunno whether to be happy that it wasn't a total mess, or to be sad that although it wasn't a total mess, it was STILL a rather substantial mess. They tested literally everything under the sun. There was histology, physiology, even math in it. And I didn't have time to finish it. I want to kick myself for not finishing the stupid graph because it was literally giving away a good 8 marks or so (granted that they give you marks for drawing the axes of course) And I'm having recurrent nightmares about the questions. I keep worrying that I haven't gotten the names of the blasted enzymes right, or that my thinking was flawed, or I spelt something wrongly, or I didn't go detailed enough. Oh hell its really quite tormenting.
I hate biochemistry. Everytime I complete a biochemistry paper, I feel like I'd just come out of the exam hall, having just made a deal with the devil or something. A kind of nagging feeling that I'd just committed a big mistake and I'm going to pay for it.
Anyway, I was so freaked by the paper today that I actually bothered to study in the afternoon. No TV, no Oprah, no naps. Oprah would be so proud of me.
My exams started with Anatomy today, which I felt was quite a smooth paper.
So its one down, two more to go. But it feels like the whole thing has ended already. I came home and just watched TV. Can you believe that I was stuck on Oprah for an hour? I know, I know, kinda pathetic but she was doing this fascinating story on Crystal Meth addicts who were just out of rehab and describing how difficult their road to recovery was. Some of the stories were very inspiring and thought-provoking, I just couldn't find the will power to stop watching it. Its pretty sobering to note that so many Americans out there, ranging from 17 year old teens to 30/40 year old soccer moms who are addicted to such a deadly drug. Quite tragic.
For the uninitiated, Crystal Meth is the latest drug that is being widely abused in America. Oprah describes it as an epidemic. And its causing a lot of trouble there because 1. its cheap, 2. you can actually make it at home, 3. its being abused by millions of Americans, whether they be old, young, or middle aged. They actually call it 'The Devil's Drug' and 'Poor Man's Cocaine'. Its quite scary actually, because the drug effectively compromises your brain function by literally burning holes into your brain. So you gradually start to lose all kinds of mental functions: you can't feel emotions, you can't judge right from wrong, you can't weigh the consequence of your actions, you can't think straight, you can't work, you can't sleep, you can't communicate. An overdose of it just causes you to become brain dead. I don't think it has arrived on S'pore shores yet (and I hope it never does) but if any of you out there is thinking of taking Crystal Meth (or any other drug for that matter) do think carefully about what you stand to lose. In other words: Don't do it. (I placed that warning above because I happen to feel that I know quite alot of potential drug abusers. Haha. You guys know who you are! Drugs aren't the way to go man.)
ANYWAY. I digress. I was saying (before I launched into that whole tirade above that looked remarkably like a GP essay) that I came home feeling as if the whole exams are over. Watched TV, surfed the net. And when I tried to start studying, I fell asleep for 2 hours and when I woke up, it was dinner time already. And now I'm typing this entry. Tsk tsk. Was telling Matthew when we were queuing up for Subway at lunch, that I really don't feel like studying anymore and he said 'DAMIAN! Come on! Just two more days! Just two more days and it'll be over!' He's right you know. Just two more days and I can give up mugging for like... another 3 to 4 months? But you know, its always harder now that its so near to the end.
We were also discussing about the fact that pros are actually here. Its so surreal don't you think? It almost felt like yesterday when we just started M1. And now, we are actually at the end of M1. Wow. Makes me wonder what I spent my previous academic year on. Anyway, its Biochem tomorrow. The most dry and tedious of the lot. I hate studying for Biochem. Its always the greatest pain in the *ss. Argh. And the paper isn't going to be a piece of cake. Can you imagine? 10 MEQs and 3 30 mark essays? In 3 hours? *shakes head*
Oh well. Enough already. I really should go do what little studying that I can manage. Just two more days. Just two more days. Just two more days...
On Love, In Sadness - Jason Mraz Sing about that Oh love it's a brittle madness, I sing about it in all my sadness Not falsified to say that I found God so Inevitably well it still exists. Pale and fine I can't dismiss And I won't resist and if I die well, at least I tried
And we just lay awake in lust and rust in the rain And pour over everything we say we trust Well it happened again, I listened in through hallways and thin doors Where the rivers unwind, rust and the rain endure. The rust and the rain so thin Well I'm in like Flynn again (I'm in)
So go on place your order now cause some other time is right around the clock You can stand in line well it finally begins oh just around the block You can have your pick if your stomach is sick whether you eat or not And there is just one thing that I almost forgot
Oh, see, you and me, we lay awake in lust and rust in the rain And pour over everything we say we trust Well it happened again, I listened in through hallways and thin doors Where the rivers unwind, the rivers unwind so easy Oh, these are the comforts that be
You see, well, I'm feeling lucky oh well, maybe that's just me Well you'd be(so)proud of me oh well, if you could only see How we're gonna grow on up to be, Ah yes we are thick as thieves
Sing about that oh love it's a brittle madness, I sing about it in all my sadness It's not falsified to say that I found God so Inevitably, well it still exists so pale and fine I can't dismiss And I won't resist and if I die well at least I tried
And we just lay awake in lust and rust in the rain And pore over everything we say we trust Well it happened again, I listened in through hallways and thin doors Where the rivers unwind and the rust and the rain endure The rust and the rain endure, I'm sure.
Because I'm insofar to know the measure of love ain't lost, love will never, ever be- Insofar to know, the measure of love ain't lost, love will never, ever be- Insofar to know, the measure of love ain't lost, love will never, ever be lost on me
Oh not tonight, said love will never ever be lost on me. (Love will...) never ever be lost on me (Love) will not be Love will never be lost on me Love...will...not...be...lost..on...me. __________________________________________________________________________________
I had this song on loop all day. Its turning me quite crazy. And is it me or are the lyrics actually rather naughty? Or maybe my mind has just taken a turn for the worse.
Tomorrow's the start of my exams! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
IZZIE: "She will come through this." GEORGE: "You don't know that." IZZIE: "She will come through this." GEORGE: "People die." IZZIE: "I know people die. People die in front of us everyday. But I believe Meredith will survive this. I believe, I believe, I... I believe in the good. I believe that it's been a hell of a year and I believe that, in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, that we will be okay. I believe a lot of things. I believe that... I believe that Denny is always with me... and I believe that if I eat a tub of butter and no one sees, that the calories don't count. And I believe that surgeons who prefer staples over stitches are just lazy. And I believe that you are a man that made a terrible mistake marrying Callie and I believe that because I'm your best friend I can tell you this and we can be okay. I believe that even though you made this mistake you will be okay. I believe we survive, George. I believe that believing we survive... is what makes us survive." ______________________________________________________________________
Every single night, I read and revise what I'm supposed to do for the day, and then I panic. I panic about lots of things: about not knowing enough; about forgetting what I had just revised, about forgetting what I revised yesterday, or the day before, or the previous week; about not knowing anything when the time comes for me to sit in that freezing cold hall and do those pages and pages of questions before me; about having a mental block or blank mind. I panic. And because I hate it when I panic, I watch an episode of 'Grey's' every single night before I go to sleep. Nevermind that I am watching repeats of the episodes. It doesn't matter at all. I still watch it to make me forget about my insecurities, I watch it to make me laugh and make me sad, I watch it to distract myself from the pain and fear of it all, I watch it because one day I hope to do something as amazing as separating a pair of conjoined twins or a humpty dumpty heart transplant.
Its no secret that I absolutely adore the characters of 'Grey's' because of their numerous character flaws. Everyone of them has something in which I can identify with. Of course I have favourites, like Meredith and Addison and Bailey and Yang... But last night, the one character that reached out and stole my heart, was Izzie. "I believe that believing we survive... is what makes us survive." Izzie is a tall, hot blond. Everyone knows that. And while her tendency to be overly involved with patients and her sometimes overly optimistic speeches and incessant worrying tends to irritate me, I love Izzie because of all the doctors in Seattle Grace, she is probably the only one who still believes as strongly as she does, in the good of everything.
Of the five interns, Izzie is the only one who believes in hope. Cristina believes in Science, Alex believes in Truth, George believes in Compassion, and Meredith... as much as she tries to deny it, she believes in Family. But Izzie, she believes in just believing. She believes in, what is most important to me, Hope. She believes. She believes, she has hope, she has an undying faith in the good. Which is something that most of us don't anymore, because somewhere or somehow, we have lost it. To our fears, to our troubles, to our busy lives. And we end up in a state of stasis over it.
And as the crunch time approaches, as time runs out... I think the most important thing to hold to your heart, is the belief that you'll do fine. Because believing that you'll defeat this, believing that you'll get over it, believing that you'll do well, is probably having half the battle won.
I believe, like Isobel Stevens, that believing we survive, makes us survive. We will survive this. We will survive this, we will survive this, we will survive this.
I'm missing the stories of the floating head of Lee Kong Chian, which would chase down track and field boys having their solo nights near the Kong Chian house. I'm missing the stories of the spirit of Tan Kah Kee going on tour during certain night, and how if you encounter an old man asking, in Hokkien, for the time near midnight, never look at him in the face or you'll get possessed by his spirit. I'm missing the whole conspiracy theory of how the school's designed to be in a structure of a dragon to destroy other's feng shui, or that it looks like a tomb to house the spirit of Tan Kah Kee. I'm missing the stories of the green baby who haunts the science labs, how he was born premature to some lab technical and how they preserved his body, and how he still floats around the place from the time to time.
I'm missing the whole Kempeitai headquarters in the clock tower thing, how they used to hang the heads of rebels on the trees around it, how the spirit of Japanese soldiers who fell to their deaths there still haunt the place. I'm missing the stories of the bridge that always collapses, and how the water turned red, and how they had to place statues of pagodas and mutilated monsters in the river to pacify the unhappy spirits. I'm missing the stories of how the huge tree planted on some supposed well like structure was to keep the dead bodies beneath in, and how that, if you removed the tree, blood would come spurting out of the well.
I'm missing the two sago trees planted just in front of the clock tower, which were supposedly used to guide the unhappy spirits home. I'm missing the stories of some PE teacher taking a jog around the track in the morning and seeing decapitated heads hanging from the trees and flag posts. I'm missing the times where I dared myself to walk up to the final floor of the clock tower alone, only to freak out when I hear creaking and strange noises near the top.
What I'm really missing, is studying in a supposedly haunted school. And you know what? It took a night time stroll, through the very same campus to make me realise how much I missed it.
Oh I forgot to mention that my brother is getting a car this time round. Yes. My mom specially flew down to get him a car this week. Am I jealous? *Can you smell the jealously? Hurhur!* Not really, because I haven't gotten my license yet, and I'm sure that after I get it, my parents would probably let me drive the cars back here as well. Plus, they are already sponsoring my Europe trip this coming May, so I really shouldn't complain. But still, he's getting a car. Its been something he has been begging and hinting at for quite some time now. Bet he can't wait for it.
Another thing. I just found out from my aunt yesterday that one of my distant cousins got admitted for some sort of potentially damaging illness. He was having a fever (39.6), nausea, vomiting and even nose bleeds, and apparently, he is not showing signs of the knee jerk reflex. Plus the boy's only 5 this year. Doesn't it sound familiar? When I first heard about it, a chill when down my spine because the whole loss of nervous function coupled with fever thing reminded me of Polio which we did for one of our PBL cases long long ago. Plus he's only 5... and Polio loves to strike children of that age range. But then I sorta remembered that children in S'pore are vaccinated to protect them from Polio... so I was sorta bummed. Then my aunt had to ask me for my opinion of the matter. Obviously I was VERY reluctant to share, because I don't think its nice to tell the whole extended family around the table, that the boy may have Polio. (Plus I haven't even passed my M1 pros yet, so really, I don't thing I should be sharing my views about Medicine any time soon.)
But you know how relatives are. They just keep bombarding you, so I just tried to stall for time by asking for more information, and if the doctors did any other tests. They told me that he had to do a Lumbar Puncture, and that my cousin cried and cried because it was so darn painful. (I immediately thought of my group's FRS topic...) But the test results were negative of any virus, infection or anything. Anyway, his fever has already subsided, but he is still not responsive to the knee jerk reflex. But apparently, his calcaneal reflex is still working... so it might be his L3, L4 nerves are damaged by infection or something. Or hopefully its just part of the recovery phase and he'll get it back again. I don't really know, cause I'm not a doctor or an expert in this field.
Anyway, the bottom line is that I was really quite uncomfortable with the idea that I was forced to think about the whole situation because the person involved was a relative of mine. Nevermind the fact that he was only remotely related to me. But the thought of the boy running around during Chinese New Year this year was enough to pretty much freak me out. Its quite scary when you realise that a relative of yours is having a potentially lethal or life altering disease. And its quite unfortunate that, from now on, I'm going to be the one they go to for opinions on this matter. I mean, I going to be the one telling them bad news, stuff that they don't necessarily want to hear. Which left me feeling quite certain that I might not be very welcome at future family gathering and dinner parties. Hehe.
Sidenote: MARTIN LEE'S NOTES FOR RENAL ARE KILLING ME.
My mom's off to Perth again. Her flight should have landed two hours ago, and considering the long drive to my brother's house from the airport, she's probably stepping into the house right about now.
My brother's got himself into quite a fix there. Apparently, he and his house-mates were robbed. Some guy (no doubt some hot-headed, racist, Australian, high-school teenager) smashed the window of their car when they went out for dinner, and promptly stole whatever he could find. So my brother's digital camera is missing, plus a whole lot of other things that thankfully weren't that valuable. At least he had the sense to carry his wallet and mobile with him, because my brother has a habit of leaving valuables lying around. I would know, because I'm usually the one picking the things he drop, and hiding them in anticipation of the look of horror on his face when he finds out that they have gone missing. Hurhur.
ANYWAY. Its not the first time that my brother and his house-mates have found themselves at the receiving end of some apparently racist treatment. Last year, some idiot drove past their house and threw eggs at their windows. Not once, but thrice. It definitely had something to do with race because the same vandal threw eggs at the nearby chinese takeaway and korean barbecue restaurant as well. And when I visited them last year, some guy actually rammed into the back of my brother's housemate's car, and attempted to do a hit and run with it. Thankfully, some other nice Australian stopped him from driving away, and thus, they managed to get his particulars and filed a police report.
Its quite sobering to note that racism is still so rampant in a city like Perth. Perth is one of the more cosmopolitan cities in Australia, and yet, the attitudes of some of the Australians there are still quite xenophobic. You would have thought they would have gotten used to the presence of Asians in Perth by now. I mean, Perth is practically filled with Asians: Asian students, migrants etc. Half of Perth's population is Asian, yet some of the Aussies still treat us as aliens or something.
So now that my brother has lost his digital camera, my mom insists that I give him mine. Not that it matters really, because I ended up buying a new digi-cam anyway. Bought my new IXUS-75! I'm a fan of IXUS cameras, for reasons that I'm unsure of. But anyway, I have a new digicam! Not bad really. Oh and I had to pass a couple of my books to my brother. Passed him my McMinns and Wheaters because apparently, he's taking histology and extended anatomy this semester. And he keeps complaining about it. Now he understands my pain. Hurhur. He would have taken my Moore if I hadn't stopped him and told him I needed it for my exams. But I'm sure it would be a waste of effort to pass him the book anyway: Its so thick that he would definitely be put off from reading it. So Moore's gonna stay in Singapore for the time being.
I was quite stupid actually, cause I inadvertently volunteered to help him do his paper. He was asking me for information on Diabetes Mellitus II and their exact effects on the physical body when I was obviously not in the mood to entertain him. I didn't really know where to find the information exactly. I'm sure its probably somewhere in Guyton, but I haven't really studied Endocrinology for Physio yet. But he kept asking for books and sources and stuff, and in the end, I got so fed up that I stupidly told him I'll find some online sources and pass it to him, thinking that I'll do it after my exams or something. Little did I know that the paper's due this coming wednesday. Argh. So I sorta volunteered to help my brother source for information to complete his paper. (but honestly, why can't he just go onto the net and Google or Wiki it?)
I'll be spending the next week, home alone with my Dad. Argh. Not that its a totally bad thing, its just that I might have to deal with extra responsibilities like clearing up the mess that my father tends to make when he does housework. Sigh.
Oh and Hallmark Channel cancelled their run of ER, right at the end of season 3!!!! Why? Why! Why?!
Oh, on a happier note, I bought 3 huge boxes of Post Cereal for breakfast! Seven days of Banana Nut Crunch, Honey Oat Waffles and Blueberry Muffin is enough to save me from the drudgery of study leave mornings!
I smiled when I saw this on postsecrets. This was me!
I'm not a Christian or a Catholic, but I was from a Catholic primary school and pretty much grew up in a Catholic environment. I was actually sufficiently interested in the Catholic faith, so much so that I might have actually entered the faith if it wasn't for the fact that religion is such a sensitive issue with my Dad. So hey, I ended up becoming a free-thinker. But one with a heavy religious conscience of course.
I remember being quite excited about all the prayer and Mass sessions. One thing I always wondered though, was why we had to worshiped a 'holy ghost'. It didn't make sense to my simple brain then. A ghost had to be a ghost: something scary, evil and demonic even. I never really bothered to had those doubts clarified though, and somewhere along the line you just grew to understand such things.
Where We Gonna Go From Here - Mat Keary All of your ways and all your thunder Get me in a haze running for cover Where we gonna go from here We we gonna go from here
Car lights in the driveway I wonder who's going coming my way Tomorrow we're turning down the highway With another bright state on a weekday Green grass and a radio Watching it fly past and away we go Seven hundred places seven hundred faces more
All your haze and all your thunder Got me in a haze running for cover Where we gonna go from here Where we gonna go from here The back of your eyes look like my mothers When we talk your like my brother Where we gonna go from here Where we gonna go from here
Time is moving on our side How could I miss you to another guy Pull of the ocean and the roaring tide Is bigger than my eyes or my design Father got a best plan Saving his daughter for the best man Seven hundred places seven hundred faces more
I've waited and I'll wait some more Won't see me knocking on another door But all this is crazy and amazing There's only one half of us that I'm saving So I'm praying just to let it go Watch from a distance just to see you glow Seven hundred places seven hundred faces more ____________________________________________________________________________________
This guy is amazing. I first noticed him when "Grey's" used a couple of his songs for several of their episodes. I wanted to place some of those songs here today, but I found this one instead. Reminds me of Jack Johnson. Which is weird because in his other song, he sounds like Chris Martin, which freaked me out. (In a good way because I'm a Coldplay fan.)
The couple of days have been hell. It seems that the fatigue accumulated from sleeping at 3 every morning have finally caught up with me. Exhausted, but unfortunately, I don't think I can slacken the pace or anything. I still have a considerable amount of things to study and giving up now would ruin everything.
Some signs that tell you that your body is hinting to you to slow down: 1. pimple outbreak 2. a tendency to fall asleep on your notes 3. increased frequency of daydreaming 4. fever 5. loss of appetite
*Shakes head* definitely the most trying study break ever. Heck, 'A' levels wasn't even this difficult.
It took me six years to learn that when you are in a situation facing challenges and adversity, there's no other way to deal with it, but to believe in what you are doing, and charge into it head on.
You issue a challenge, you throw down the gauntlet, you let it all out. And then you go deal with it; blood, sweat and tears, you map out your strategy, you devise your plan, and you don't second guess it.
It never serves you any good to wonder if 'this and that' would be a better alternative; all that is left to decide is what to do with the time that is made available for you. Insecurities and self doubt will never get you anywhere. It leads to procrastination, it leads to incessant worrying. It leads to a state of stasis where you are just stuck in your state of mental immobility, a state of being caught up by nothing, being held back by absence, being seized by despair. You made your choice. You set your plans. You believed in your decisions. So stick with it.
I've already thrown down my gauntlet long ago, and I'm not going to bend down to pick it up again. I will not be affected by this.
UPDATE @ 2244: DAMN IT! THE STUPID BIRD IS SCREECHING RIGHT NOW. ARRGGGHHHH!
One of my neighbours owns a pet cockatoo. Wow. A pet cockatoo! You know, those white birds with yellow combs, hooked beaks and a rather nasal sounding voice/call/screech/whatever.
I am an animal lover. Okay, I love all animals, big and small, except maybe mosquitoes and sharks, but yesh, the point is, I love animals. So normally, I would be quite pleased if my neighbour owes a cockatoo. It'll add some cheer to the surroundings. Unfortunately, I am not in that happy place right now. I am a medical student who has to do some bit of revision everyday, and medical students that are facing an impending exam don't do well with noise. Let alone noises from a screeching bird. A freaking, screeching bird.
I wouldn't mind if the bird chooses to do its screeching the bright morning of day. I mean, I think it'll be quite charming if it did; its like its telling the world it loves the light of day. Okay, I'm fine with that. But NOOooooooOOOoooo! The stupid feather brained cockatoo just loves to do its screeching when the sun is long down and the moon is long out. When half the world is asleep, when I am either trying to finish reading my last paragraph or last page of a certain chapter in a textbook, or a certain set of notes. It chooses to keep up its periodic screeches when I am lying on my bed, tossing and turning, trying to get to sleep. The freaking bird just doesn't know when to shut up!
Which is why I am seriously contemplating my options of committing bird murder and not getting caught in the process of doing so. Unfortunately, its quite hard to do so because: 1. I do not know which exact household owns the stupid bird. 2. I think it'll be quite hard to catch a stupid cockatoo, especially if it starts flying. 3. I don't really know what kind of metabolic poison to give to a bird: is it the same for humans and animals? Can I give it like cyanide or 2,4 DNP or cyclohexamide or something? 4. How do I even get access to the bird in the first place? It'll be too conspicuous for me to just turn up and knock on someone's door and ask to see their resident noisemaking bird. 5. My mom actually loves the damn bird. She finds its calls 'charming'. Pppppfffttttt!
So I decided that I can't really kill the bird with my own hands... so I've been trying to bride the cat of my other neighbour to kill the bird. She's (I think its a she) this really fat, proud, white cat with loads of fur. She's been using my garden as an expressway for getting around the estate, and we've been nice enough to allow her to use it free all this time without having to pay for its usage. So I thought its high time that she pays her due - by helping me to kill the damn bird. But being a stuck up cat that she is, she has refused to listened to me or take the little bits of snacks that I've been offering. Pompous prissy pig. Maybe I should consider committing cat murder as well.
See all this wouldn't be a problem if I had a dog. I'll just send my dog to go puncture the cat's esophagus or something, and send my dog to decapitate the stupid cockatoo. And the thing is dogs are loyal creatures and they'll gladly take the rat for it. Wee-hee! (and you guys wonder why I want a dog. Muahahaha.)
Please don't report me to the SPCA. I really do love animals. (Most of the time anyway.)
Which reminds me, today's actually April the First. April Fool's day!
Remember my list of mini March resolutions? (refer to entry dated 03/03/07) I said that I would review them on April the 1st. Well, the month of March has come and gone, and its time folks, to see if I've been practicing what I preached for the month of March.
1. I will not grumble when my parents wake me up to go to school or driving on saturdays. (because I subscribed to the daily torture of waking up early.) - I still continued to do my fair share of grumbling. Even when I don't have to wake up early like during study break mornings. 2. I will not procrasinate when it comes to revision and studying. - likewise. that's what I'm doing now actually, blogging this entry. 3. I will not be distracted by the laptop when it comes to revision and studying. - actually, I managed to achieved this resolution! I achieved it by following a regiment of shutting the laptop, staying out of my room and stuffing myself with cereal. 4. I will actually start my revision and studying. - ahuh. been there, done that, and now, I'm doing that again. Bleah. 5. I will limit all forms of entertainment to just blogging, occasional rounds of AOE3 and TV shows. - does roaming the streets count as entertainment as well? 6. I will pass all three CA2 tracks. - I did! I did! 7. I will buy Yanzi's latest album when it is released on the 21st. - I did, I did too! 8. I will keep up my religious following of Grey's, Heroes and ER. (see resolution no. 5) - unfortunately, both Grey's and Heroes are currently on hiatus. As for ER, yes, I am still following the series religiously. 9. I will not blog for more than an hour (see resolution no. 5) - oh, failed rather miserably at this one. 10. I will finally book a test date for me driving. (oh and get my PDL extended.) - yup! its in August!
Hmmmm. Not bad. I noticed that alot of the resolutions in March are actually needed in April as well, considering the fact that despite the end of CA2, there's a bigger, final hurdle for M1 called pros. Hurhur. So yeah, I should just keep up with resolutions 2,3 and 7.
I had a day totally free from mugging yesterday (except during a brief visit to kinokuniya, where I pick up a pocket version of Netter's and ended up having a quick revision on the cranial nerves. Argh.)
Gosh, I so needed a break from the drudgery of just staying cooped up at home to mug. Its been... 6 consecutive days since I last stepped out of the house. It was so nice to just be able to walk out of the estate, and take a bus again. And boy, I really had fun today. Over 12 hours of just hanging out in town and roaming the streets.
Met up with GAG today. Haha. Gladys is back in town from London for her Easter break, so we decided to have a reunion of sorts. So yes, it was another GAG+patron/manager outing today, the last since.... September last year. It was great meeting up with them. Brought back lots of fond memories of our JC days. The four of us just doing so much nonsense. All the crap and rubbish and provocative statements. (mostly from me. muahaha)
We had a eating spree. Ate Ding Tai Feng @ Raffles City, then walked all the way to Dohby Gaut to go our favourite TCC haunt. Drank ice coffee, and just chatted for quite some time. Then we decided to walk all the way to Takashimya, though we really didn't know want we wanted to do there. Ended up in Kino, like always. We always end up in kino, and just went around grabbing books with weird/provocative titles and just speculating what their contents might be about. Followed Gladys to get her moisturizers stocked up for her trip back. She's leaving on Monday, so fast. Too short a holiday back I guess. But anyway, in the end we couldn't decide where else to go and ended up taking the train back to Raffles City, and headed down to another of our favourite haunts - Haagen Diaz @ Esplanade. And had -what else?-chocolate fondue.
Had fun catching up with 3 of them. Gladys and her life in London. Weird lecturers, interesting stuff she's been doing, like horse riding, cooking and stuff. Discussed alot of really weird topics as well. Lots of amusing stuff. It was just fun to get the whole dynamics of our dysfunctional group started again. Haha.
I never tried to be someone who had cliques in JC. I always saw myself as the floater in the class, the one who would float between the many different clique in 04s71. I mean, I got along with every single clique in the class: the guys, the girls, the 'Friends' and of course GAG (otherwise known as the CO gang). But to be honest, I felt most comfortable with GAG. The times spent with the 3 of them in CO, the times spent with them sitting at the class bench crapping and making fun of them... are some of my fondest memories of JC life.
We had a weird sort of group dynamics going on. I remember someone would say something, and I would always be the one who would twist it, either in a provocative way, or turn it into some nonsensical statement: teasing them, making fun of them, just basically talking alot of crap. Geraldine would be the reasonable one, who would either take my joke and make it funnier, or sometimes, just accept the fate of being the butt of my jokes and alex's bullying. Muahaha. Alex was the unfortunate one. Whatever came out of his mouth, would always end up being the butt of our jokes. He just has the knack of saying so many wrong things at the wrong time. And Gladys. The dominatrix. Haha. I remember the times were she would whack us with her books if we (or rather I) made fun of her. Even being the dominatrix didn't make her immune to my teasing though. If I wanna tease someone, I just gotta tease that poor unfortunate person. =p
And if today showed us anything, is that the dynamics of our little group has stayed pretty much the same as before. Except, well, Gladys is less prone to violent tendencies, I'm more flippant and mad these days, Geraldine's still the same old reasonable girl... and Alex. Just can't stop himself from putting his foot into his mouth. Haha. It was great. Brought back everything... just like how it was in the good ol' days. Oh well, looks like the next meeting we'll ever have is in July when Gladys is coming back again.
After that, waited with Geraldine for the rest of my class to come, while Gladys went out and Alex went to watch a concert. Some of my class were going night cycling today. I was actually supposed to go, but I decided in the last minute not too. Quite sorry for pangseh-ing them, because this time, it looked like a really good plan was set out for the trip, but was just too tired from sleeping at 0330 and waking up at 0700 this morning. And really wanted to go though. Had so much fond memories of the night cycling trip I did with almost the same bunch of people - Yisheng, Khengwee, Amanda and Yuenmei - last year in September. So in the end decided to meet them at their first pitstop - Brewerkz at Riverside Point.
This time, the night cyclers included Yisheng, Khengwee, Yuenmei, Shinwei and Anthony. We ordered lots of food at Brewerkz, though we sorta came to the conclusion that the platter of appetizers was rather costly at 40 bucks. But I thought the chicken wings on the platter were quite delicious though, but the rest didn't think so. So anyway, I had extra wings, their loss, totally my gain. Also ordered a rather nice Brewerkz Pizza and an extremely delicious Bread Pudding. Oh it was heavenly. Had couple of mugs of strawberry beers and fruit punch as well (the night cyclers weren't allowed to drink too much alcohol, lest they fainted on the road or something.)
The whole gang of 6 of them tried to interrogate my about the state of my love life. I should have known lah, something was so fishy about the way they were asking questions. I must admit that it was quite a change for me to be on the hot seat when I'm usually the one who interrogates people. HAHA. Nice try people. All I can say is that its all on my previous blog entry and that at the moment, I have NO love life and that everything's a mess. Hahaha. So please stop asking me about it. You'll just get the same response you got today. Which is constant denial and temporary deafness on my part. =P
Walked back to VCH to take my bus though. It was 12 by the time I boared the bus. Reached home half an hour later. Am so looking forward for a wonderful night in my bed. Haha.
A whole day without touching my books. It was just a needed break from the mugging. Today its back to the books again, but still, I felt that I sorta got back my sanity back. So yes, guess I'm more prepared and motivated to keep working for the Pros again.
"Well... its a mess" "This sort of thing? Always a mess." How true, how true. =p
Name: voldemort33
XY, 01/06/1987, s'porean typical geminian free-thinker moody & eccentric thinks far too much for his own good med student (be afraid. be very afraid!) demon45_6f@hotmail.com
crazy craves
music (jazz, rock and lounge) day-dreaming drawing & photography animals (sheep!) chocolate and tea! seafood, noodles and soup!
pet peeves
noisy crowds over-possessive, insecure, whiny people two-faced hypocrites housework and homework being called 'rich' rushing to do stuff crying, pesky kids
deepest darkest desires! (aka wishlist!)
to be a doctor (with a heart of gold!) a dog my own condo apartment a driving license and my own four wheel drive my own comic line someone to hug
