I really find myself having less and less things to blog about. I don't know if its because I've become less introspective, or more used to the way life sucks, but yes, I'm feeling drained and dry all the time. I lack the inspiration to blog and I'm seriously considering leaving blogging altogether. Then I won't have anymore excuses to not join facebook.
Ambivalence. That's the word to describe how I've been feeling over the past week. I don't know if you guys noticed, but its been a wet week. Every morning, I wake up to rain, which totally kills my mood and desire to go out, so I'll just choose to mope at home and play computer games til I feel like puking. Then I'll stop and maybe just read a bit of Pathology to try and dissipate a little of the guilt that builds up in me. But yes, I find life just too ordinary to have any thoughts and feelings. Ask me how I'm feeling and I'll say that I'm not feeling particularly happy or delighted with the way things are going, but then again, I'm not feeling particularly depressed or resentful about anything in life as well.
And that's the problem. Its just a state of ambivalence, where nothing seems to matter and nothing seems to inspire me or excite me. So I just don't feel anything at all. And that is why I don't think I should continue blogging anymore because I feel like I've nothing else to say or share with whoever still reads this place. I dunno. Maybe I just need to find another direction with my blogging, revamp my blogging so as to develop something that would interest me again, because right now, my passion for blogging's really a far cry from the passion I had 2 years ago.
Then again, it could just be the fact that I live a rather boring life. But I'm too lazy to seek adventure. Blah.
Let's all say goodbye to Beijing for 16 splendid days of amazing competition!
I'm glad they managed to hold the Olympics without any major problems, and I must say they blew away all my expectations concerning how they would host the games. I was very worried that there would be blemishes here and there, but the organisation of the games just looks perfect. The venues were all amazing, in particular the Water Cube. I have to say that that building is a work of art. It is a beautiful piece of architecture that just evokes alot of feeling and emotion in me... Something about it just spells unspeakable beauty, more so than the Bird's Nest National Stadium. But yes, the games were very well organised and it really had a great impact on the city because Beijing looks so much greener, cleaner and friendlier a place right now. We really are seeing a side of the Chinese that we have never seen before: that of a people that's gracious, friendly and always smiling. These games really have brought the world and China closer, and hopefully it'll usher in an era of greater co-operation and mutual understanding.
There were many moments in these games that I absolutely enjoyed. The amazing opening ceremony that stunned the world was definitely one of them. It was well choreographed and perfectly executed and showcased that wonders that China could bring to the world. Michael Phelps and his 8 Golds. It was just amazing, watching him win every single Gold medal and achieve history. This man is one of my greatest sporting idols and I'm so honored to have been alive to witness history being made. The Singapore table tennis girls and their long awaited Silver medal. Thank you so much for achieving something that the nation has been waiting for a long long time. Usain Bolt and his 3 sprinting Golds. He may be a show-off, but he deserves every right because he IS the fastest man alive. Chris Hoy and his 3 cycling Golds. The most successful British athlete from these games. I'm very happy with the amazing performance of the British team! 19 Golds! Definitely their best performance at an Olympic games in recent times! Yelena Isinbayeva from Russia, the Queen of the Pole Vault. I'll never forget how she made a whole stadium of spectators wait just so that she could attempt to break her world record... which she did. Matthew Mitcham from Australia, who did an amazing last dive to snatch the last diving Gold from China and prevent the Chinese from sweeping the diving medals. And many other moments that I just can't list out right now....
There were, of course, moments of controversy and heartache. Liu Xiang's shocking pull out from his race broke the hearts of 1.3 billion people, and to watch this former champion do so was just... horrifying. Cuba's Angel Valodia Matos, a former Olympic champion in Taekwondo who kicked the referee's face after being ruled to have lost the game and thus earning a life long ban from his sport, effectively putting an end to his career. All these showcase the fact that the Olympics really does bring out the best and the worst in people. You see the heroic sides of these amazing champions, but you also witness the horrible sides of some of the fallen heroes as well.
The next few days will be particularly depressing, considering that there won't be anymore Olympics action to look forward to anymore. How unfortunate because I'll be having my one week break now before I start my Surgery posting and I would have all the time in the world to watch some Olympics action. But oh well, my EOPT (WHICH WAS A TOTAL DISASTER!) marked the end of both my Medicine posting and the Olympics, so I won't have a chance to properly enjoy the Olympics. Talk about bad timing, but that is just life.
And so, we'll see the Olympics again when it reaches London in 2012. It'll be a different feeling altogether, a totally different kind of games. Beijing had splendor and extravagance, but I think London would focus instead on celebrating youth and vitality. Both are two of my favourite cities in the world, and I'm just happy to know that both are hosts for back to back Olympics.
And so its goodbye Beijing! I enjoyed every minute of what you had to offer! And now its hello London! See you in 2012! I can hardly wait! =)
And so, tomorrow's the start of my dreaded End-of-Medicine-Posting test. Tomorrow's going to be just part 1. Part 2 (probably the more stressful and terrifying component) is going to be on Saturday. After the past 9 weeks of struggling to learn something during postings, I've finally come down to the point where I'm going to find out whether I've succeeded in learning enough to past the first big test of the Clinical years. Unfortunately, my first test has to be one of the biggest tests of all.
If you thing about it, the EOPT is something like an Olympic event. We slog so hard, put in so much effort, doing the same Physical exams over and over again, reading the same topic over and over again, thinking about the same problems over and over again... all for the 2 days of assessment, 2 days where every little thing matters. The examiners (or judges) aren't going to look at what you had achieved over the past few months, they are going to look at what you are going to write and do in the next two days. So yeah, its like the Olympics. You train your ass off for the past 4 years just to qualify for an event and when the time comes for you to perform on the world's biggest sporting stage, you either rise magnificently to the occasion, or you fall, face flat without a shred of dignity.
Your tutors can teach you that much. Your coaches can advise you that much. But ultimately, it comes down entirely to your own ability to handle the pressure, to think straight, to perform everything according to the way you have been practicing. There will be mistakes and there will be surprises, but if you have the mentality of a champion, you can face these minor hiccups, carry out damage control and convert them into lifesavers that would save the whole routine. You may not win Gold, but what matters is that you don't give up, you don't break down under pressure and you participate in one of the greatest shows in your life.
How fitting that the Olympics come to an end, just when my own medical posting comes to a close. So yeah, the end of EOPT coincides nicely with the Closing Ceremony of the Olympics. What a nice way to wrap things up.
And so it is. History has been rewritten, and Michael Phelps has beaten Mark Spitz 36-year record of winning the most Gold medals in a single Olympic Games. I know that everyone's been talking about how amazing this man has been, but I just have to say it again - this guy is phenomenal.
I've been a fan of Phelps ever since he first made waves at the Athens 2004 games where we all know he was also up for 8 medals then and he took home 6 Golds, 1 Silver and 1 Bronze then. And now look what he has achieved 4 years down the road. 8 freaking gold medals. Imagine what the reaction back home if Singapore had managed to achieve that.
This is one of the reasons that I love the Olympics. I love it when other people succeed it things that I will never be able to do and achieve. The rise of these sporting legends are just so touching and fascinating to watch. You see them rise, and sometimes, you see them fall. But the way they work towards getting their goals, the way they force themselves to step up and get onto the podium is just inspiring. It takes so much guts, mental strength, perseverance to achieve such things, which are elements that I probably will never have. I wish I could have just a tiny fraction of the attributes that these greats possess.
Now that he has broken Mark Spitz record, there will always be debates about Michael Phelps and whether he can truly be considered the greatest Olympian of all time. I think its silly to have such a title, because ALL Olympians are great. You can never equate their achievements because what they have achieve individually is already an awe-inspiring achievement. Michael Phelps is a great Olympian, one of many great and legendary Olympians whose amazing feats will be remember forever in the history books. But he certainly is the greatest Olympian in these Beijing Olympics, and I salute him for being that.
Watching this scene on the television made me tear. =)
And, after three and a half nail-biting hours, the nation ends its 48 year long Olympic medal drought. Incredibly, this is going to be our first medal since independence. What a long wait it's been.
The 3 women must have had tons of pressure on their shoulders, and throughout the match, it seemed as if the pressure was going to break them. There were so many instances when it looked as if they were going to, once again, flounder under the immense pressure, but in the end, it took the amazing composure and pluckiness of 21 year old Feng Tian Wei to finally seal the victory for Singapore.
I wonder if the spectators at the Olympic table tennis stadium knew how much this medal means to the nation. I'm sure that most of the spectators are from countries who have had plenty of other medals won before... And for the Koreans, it just means that they have one less Gold or Silver to add to their multi-medal collection. But to the country of Singapore, it means EVERYTHING. The kind of euphoria felt after winning at least a Silver seems to be so much more than the euphoria some feel after winning a Gold. I mean, a Singaporean athlete has to win just a single gold to get a million dollars, whereas Micheal Phelps has to win 8 gold medals to get his own million... The numbers are seriously off. Its kind of funny really, and sort of shows how desperate we are to have something to show the world that we are really serious in becoming a sporting nation. Nonetheless, they finally did it. We can stop emphasizing the fact that we had only won an Olympic medal once before.
Let's hope that this is the start of many more future Olympic medals to come. =)
我和你, You and Me - Liu Han, Sarah Brightman 我和你，心連心，同住地球村， 為夢想，千里行，相會在北京。 來吧！朋友，伸出你的手， 我和你，心連心，永遠一家人。 You and me From one world We are family Travel dream A thousand miles Meeting in Beijing Come together Put your hand in mine You and me From one world We are family
來吧！朋友，伸出你的手 You and me From one world We are family ______________________________________________________
I want to enjoy the Olympics, but my end-of-posting-test isn't letting me enjoy it. BOO HOO.
I'm damn excited about it! I've just spent the whole of the last day or so camped with my books in front of the television, watching event after event. Starhub has an amazing coverage of the games, with a total of 6 different free channels just dedicated to showcasing different types of sporting disciplines that are being held at the same time, and with such an extensive coverage, its hard not to be distracted by all the amazing sporting action. Which is not good because I really should be studying for my up and coming end-of-posting-test... and doing the loads of reading up that I have to do for Internal Medicine. But the Olympics comes once every four years and it'll be awful to miss it.
I must say that the Opening ceremony was spectacular! I was watching it with my parents and we all agreed that China has outdone itself. I never thought that they had the technology and capabilities to pull off such a fantastic show because it had all the elements of a high tech visual wonder that it didn't resemble any of the previous old-fashioned, highly unpolished presentations of old time China. In fact, after watching the Opening ceremony of the Games, I found it excruciatingly painful to sit through this year's National Day Parade. Our NDP looked like some school production compared to the amazing ceremony put up by the Chinese. Quite sad considering that we've been doing this for 43 years now and we should be experts in putting on such big and fanciful shows. But oh well. I suppose China has the numbers to put on a more stunning performance. I hope the opening ceremony of the Youth Olympics would be something of better caliber than NDP though...
I wish I didn't have school. Then I'll stay home for the next two weeks and watch the Olympics all day! But the games sure are looking good and so far, China looks like its doing a good job hosting it. Which is quite a surprise really, but I hope they keep it up to prove the massive hordes of detractors wrong.
Oh and on a totally random note, this is my 300th post on this blog address!
In view of recent hardships and horrible times, I have decided to compile a short list of stuff that actually make me happy, so as to remind myself that pain and hardship is transient, and despite the fact that I'm perpetually tired and busy, I am still capable of encountering stuff that makes me happy. Its all part of the plan; the plan to get my life and mindset all crazily positive again. This new found enthusiasm to get my life back on the optimistic fast track was sparked by the Sodagreen concert: its as if I've found some fresh injection of botox into my dying life.
So here goes, my 10-random-things-that-currently-make-me-happy list:
1. Famous Amos Cookies: My mom bought a bag of them and a couple of famous Amos cookies everyday never fails to brighten up my day!
2. Listening to music on my Ipod: Music is really essential for me to function normally. In particular, Sodagreen's music! I always feel happier if I start my day listening to a couple of their fast numbers.
3. Watching '康熙来了': An hour of my day is usually spent watching the latest episode of '康熙'. Its only an hour, but it brings in much needed laughter!
4. Sleeping in the car: I need every chance I get to pay my massive sleep debt, and sleeping in the car allows me to pass time and catch up on much needed sleep.
5. Meeting up with friends who aren't in medicine: They remind me that I do have a semi-functioning life outside of medicine!
6. Sleeping in on Sundays: The only day where I can sleep in. Again, its important that I recover from that stupid sleep debt. And its the only day where my mom won't wake me up early (she tends to wake me up early on Saturdays because we have to make our way down to my Grandma's by the afternoon...)
7. Reading the latest chapter of 'Bleach' that is launched every Friday: something exciting to look forward to! And it always heralds a new week of speculation!
8. Staying up late on Fridays and Saturdays: extra long hours to do random stuff, be it play games, surf the net, study, draw, listen to music or just stone.
9. Bitching with friends from medicine: Still my favourite socializing past time. Haha.
10. A day in the hospital where I manage to do good clerking and do good PEs: such days are actually hard to come by. Then again, happiness comes when you don't expect too much as well. So yeah. I shan't expect too much!
Okay, I plan to carry out a slew of major updates on this blog of mine. Haha. I miss blogging on a daily basis, and the past few weeks of clinicals have indeed taken its toll of me. But events over the past week has made me realise that there's still so much more than clinicals and being irritated with the work, unhappiness and interpersonal politicking that comes along with it. So yeah, I will celebrate by blogging. Lots and lots of blogging. Woohoo!
To start things off, here's the list that Geraldine tagged me to do. Over three weeks late! WOW!
#1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be? Seriously, this quiz is obviously written by a girl. HAHA. I will break off all contact with the person, break off all contact with her and vow to never see her again. And I speak from experience. HAHA.
#2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be? To be a celebrity, preferably part of a rock band, tour the world and campaign for fair trade and the destruction of the USA. HAHA. On a more practical note: to pass every single test that I take in medicine and to eventually become a good doctor in whatever I would eventually choose to specialise in.
#3. What will your dream wedding be like? Honestly... somewhere in Europe. The solemnization should take place at some cliff over-looking some ocean or sea, with seagulls flying overhead. Guest list would include just my family, her family, and our most special friends.
#4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you? Not exactly. I think I'm more confused with where I'm currently standing.
#6. Which is more blessed? Loving someone or being loved by someone? You know what, I think its being loved by someone. You can actually get hurt loving someone.
#7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love? Probably my whole lifetime.
#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do? I would first go into despair. Then try and sabotage the union. HAHA. Nah, probably watch from afar, and wish them all the best. And wait til they break up and then I'll swoop down to comfort her and taaddddaaa! Problem solved.
#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days? DUH. And I'm not so stupid to write about it here!
#10. Is being tagged fun? OF COURSE NOT.
#11. How do you see yourself in 10 years time? Hopefully I'll still be alive then. HAHA. I dunno. Older, more mature, more responsible. Hopefully I'll still be a doctor then, and I would at least know what I'm doing and not just walking around like some idiot that deserves to be shot.
#12. Who are currently the most important people to you? I guess family and those special friends.
#13. What kind of person do you think the one who tagged you is? One of my bestest friends in the world. And someone I trust alot. And someone I hope will eventually fulfill her wish & dream because right now, I think she deserves to be in medicine more than I do.
#14. Would you rather be rich and single or married but poor? RICH AND SINGLE. HAHA.
#15. What’s the first thing you do every morning? Tell myself not to feel too angry with myself for choosing to be in this line. HAHA. Oh and reminding myself that I'm called 'Damian Yeo'.
#16. Would you give all in a relationship? Maybe initially. But I must admit that I give up quite easily, especially when I sense that its a lost cause. I'm probably going to be one of the first few people who jumps off a sinking ship.
#17. If you fall in love with 2 people simultaneously, who would you pick? THIS WILL NEVER EVER HAPPEN.
#18. What type of friends do you like? Friends who accept me for who I am and don't attempt to control or influence my life. People who don't show me an attitude. Oh and friends who I can learn something from just by spending time with them.
#19. What type of friends do you dislike? People who have no backbone, people who are needy and exceedingly sticky, people who don't think for themselves and refuse to face their problems and keep harping on the same problems all the time.
#20. If you have to choose between love and friendship, what would it be? Right now, its friendship. I haven't evolved to the stage where I have enough guts to choose love over friendship.
I went to watch Sodagreen's concert with juniors Xinhui and Yinghong at the Max Pavilion on Saturday! At $150 each, the tickets we had were the most expensive for the night. Its the first time I had ever spent so much on a concert, but nonetheless, it was worthed every cent. I know most music lovers would have chosen to spend their money on tickets to Sing Fest instead, but I'm glad I didn't go squeeze for a place there. Watching Sodagreen was a treat. It was as good as their first ever concert here, which was last year I believe. I went for it as well and I remember being blown away by them then, because of how amazing they sound 'live' and also how friendly and sincere they were! This time round, they were back with a bigger line up, an additional year of experience, and it really showed that in their music and their stage presence. But if you strip away all the fancy pancy stage effects, what matters is still their solid singing and their down-to-earth friendliness.
What I like about them is their unique sound, which is always slightly quirky and not too conventional. It helps that their lead singer Qingfeng has such a high and distinct voice. I love the way that they handle all genres of music, how they can emote with slow, heart wrenching emotional songs and how they can send the crowd wild with their high octane fast numbers. It gives their music a very interesting touch, making them feel bubbly, with a background element of class to them.
Another thing about them is their sincerity. I love the way they do encores. They don't just perform a piece or two of pre-decided, pre-rehearsed songs, they open the floor to the audience for requests and try to their utmost best to give the audience as much as they. And they try to elongate the session by having utterly hilarious conversations with the audience and also bantering among themselves. Very funny.
I enjoyed myself alot at the concert. It was a good breather from the harsh reality of clinical life and a good chance to go to somewhere where absolutely no one from medicine would go, and just let loose. A night of solid music, hilarious entertainment, a night to forget the troubles and worries haunting me, to just immerse myself in the wonderful world of music.
A night I would never forget. Til the next time they perform here! Sodagreen pops!
Name: voldemort33
XY, 01/06/1987, s'porean typical geminian free-thinker moody & eccentric thinks far too much for his own good med student (be afraid. be very afraid!) demon45_6f@hotmail.com
crazy craves
music (jazz, rock and lounge) day-dreaming drawing & photography animals (sheep!) chocolate and tea! seafood, noodles and soup!
pet peeves
noisy crowds over-possessive, insecure, whiny people two-faced hypocrites housework and homework being called 'rich' rushing to do stuff crying, pesky kids
deepest darkest desires! (aka wishlist!)
to be a doctor (with a heart of gold!) a dog my own condo apartment a driving license and my own four wheel drive my own comic line someone to hug
